


A Moment of Peace

by wannabespacesmuggler



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Basically a Rescue Mission Gone Wrong on Mandalore, Childhood Friends, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Dyad (Star Wars), Lots of Conflicting and Repressed Emotions, Mutual Pining, Reader-Insert, Spoilers, lots of flashbacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:15:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24526732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wannabespacesmuggler/pseuds/wannabespacesmuggler
Summary: Obi-Wan Kenobi gets word that Duchess Satine Kryze’s life is in danger, but the council is certain that the Senate will not allow him to give his assistance if asked. Accompanying your fellow Jedi Master on his rogue mission with the help of his former Padawan Anakin Skywalker and his padawan Ahsoka Tano, you and Obi-Wan have to come to terms with the consequences of the force bond you share while traversing the underworld of Mandalore in an attempt to protect the Duchess.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Reader
Comments: 16
Kudos: 155





	1. This is a bad idea.

**Author's Note:**

> So after seeing The Rise of Skywalker, rewatching the prequels, and watching The Clone Wars for the first time, I was really digging the idea of Obi-Wan x Reader dyad in the force. A short, one post story idea then turned into a multi-part journey, so yeah. Hope you enjoy it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan Kenobi gets word that Duchess Satine Kryze’s life is in danger, but the council is certain that the Senate will not allow him to give his assistance if asked. Accompanying your fellow Jedi Master on his rogue mission with the help of his former Padawan Anakin Skywalker and his Padawan Ahsoka Tano, the two of you travel down memory lane as Ahsoka wonders about the origin of your relationship with Obi-Wan.

_ This is a bad idea _ . 

That’s what you should be thinking about. You should be reevaluating how you ended up sitting in the back of a cockpit next to Ahsoka with Obi-Wan and Anakin in the pilot seats. You should be reassessing the moments after you received a message from Anakin that Obi-Wan's presence was requested by Yoda and it seemed serious. You should be rethinking how you found yourself outside Obi-Wan's meeting, waiting impatiently for your best friend to exit and enlighten you on what’s happening. You should be reexamining the thoughts that flooded your mind when his eyes met yours after leaving the room: he didn’t look surprised, as if he’d known you’d be there already, but he looked conflicted. You should be replaying Obi-Wan's explanation of what’s going on in your head: Satine’s life is being threatened by Death Watch but the council will never allow Obi-Wan to intervene as it is not a Separatist plot from what they can tell. You should be reviewing how you knew instantly what he was planning to do, as you watched his head race to figure out how he’s going to pull this off without provoking the council. And you should definitely be concerned for yourself as you somehow decided to join Obi-Wan's rogue mission to Mandalore without him asking despite it being both against the council’s wishes  _ and _ extremely dangerous. 

But instead, you’re sitting behind Obi-Wan in the cockpit, your eyes closed, and feet kicked up on his armrest, listening to him and Anakin bicker about Obi-Wan's flying. You should be concerned, in fact, you should probably be questioning your sanity at this point; however, it’s hard to do that when you consider that it isn’t always like this with you and Obi-Wan. It isn’t always peaceful. In quiet moments like this, there’s an unspoken understanding between you both that they’re meant to be spent together. Obi-Wan gently nudges your foot with his elbow, causing you to gently kick your fellow Jedi Master in return. You can’t see his face, but you know he’s smiling. Despite the circumstances,  _ it’s a moment of peace and you’re spending it with him _ . 

It didn’t last long though; those moments never do. 

“Master?” 

Ahsoka’s voice pulls you from your relaxed state. You groggily open your eyes and glance over at Anakin’s young padawan. She’s fidgeting, she’s been restless for the entire flight; however, until now, she was practically silent except for a few answers she provided when Anakin would ask a question. You can feel Obi-Wan's gaze shift to you after his eyes scanned for any signs of trouble. Instead of trouble, all he found was Anakin’s bored padawan and his best friend attempting to get some rest before their mission begins. 

“Yes, Ahsoka?” 

You close your eyes once again and stretch your legs out further on Obi-Wan's armrest attempting to drift back toward your relaxed state. Although Anakin is supposed to be keeping her occupied as you slept and Obi-Wan flew, especially since the two of them were not meant to be here in the first place which Obi-Wan made clear several times, his incessant grumbling in regard to Obi-Wan's technique was keeping him preoccupied. This has left you with the job of keeping the young padawan entertained. 

“How did you and Master Kenobi meet?” 

Her question causes you to let out a soft chuckle. You’ve heard her ask Anakin this same question several times; however, she never seemed pleased with his answers. 

“Ahsoka, how many times are you going to ask this question?” 

Anakin groans from in front of you. You slowly open your eyes as you begin to realize that you’re most likely not going to get the rest you desired to get before the mission. Regardless, you can’t help but smile at the scene before you. Anakin and Ahsoka’s bickering is not foreign to you. In fact, you spent a great deal of time with them; however, every time they go at it, you’re always delighted by their sibling-like bond. Anakin may never say it aloud, but the council really knew what they were doing putting the two of them together. 

“Until I get an actual answer, Master.” 

Ahsoka’s shoulders shrug as she speaks. Her full attention had been on Anakin, but she turned to face you after her dispute with her Master. Her full and undivided attention now on you. 

“All he’s told me is that for as long as he’s known Master Kenobi, he’s known you.” 

“Well, he’s certainly not wrong.” 

Obi-Wan is grinning as he speaks, looking like the boy you had met all those years ago. Many things about Obi-Wan have changed as time passed: his hair tamer, his beard more wild, his composure just as dignified, but much more reckless with age and experience. He’s no longer a boy, you know that; however, as he looks over his shoulder to Ahsoka, his eyes lighting up as his composure becomes more playful than stern, you know the boy he once was is still a part of him. 

“You’ve really known him that long?” 

Ahsoka’s curiosity was evident in her posture; now sitting forward, leaning toward the two of you as you answer. It was moments like these when you remember that she’s just a child; it’s easy to forget when the four of you spend most of your time together in the heat of battle. 

“I’ve known Anakin since he was just a boy.”

“Were you with them on Naboo?”

“No, I was not.” 

“So, you knew each other before then.”

She’s persistent, you’ll give her that. You look toward Obi-Wan for help. He seems just as taken aback at how insistent she is to know the origin of your friendship. Obi-Wan looks to Anakin for assistance, but he seems to be just as enthralled as Ahsoka.  _ Master like padawan _ , Obi-Wan thinks before rolling his eyes at the boy. 

“We’ve known each other for many years.” 

You know he’s attempting to save you from Ahsoka’s line of questioning; however, now she’s determined. She certainly isn’t one to let something go; you don’t know if that’s a quality she’s picked up from her Master or one she possessed on her own. Either way, it is now being used against you. She turns back to you and waits for your response, completely disregarding Obi-Wan's answer. 

“Technically, we met at the temple, but I’ve known him my entire life.”

“That’s impossible.”

The bond the two of you share isn’t a secret you were keeping hidden from everyone; however, it also isn’t something you talk to others about all the time. There are only a handful of people who understand how connected you both are. Anakin knows about it simply because of how much time the three of you have spent together throughout his life, but he also knows he doesn’t fully understand what’s going on between the two of you. 

“It certainly seems that way. He’s just always been there.” 

Her brow furrows as she tries to understand the situation. It’s impossible for you both to have actually known one another for your entire lives. Obi-Wan came from Stewjon, while you had a more complicated story. No one is quite sure where you’re from. 

“Does that mean you’ve both always been this close?” 

The two of you laughed at her question, remembering back fondly to when the both of you were children.

"No, we were at each other's throats from the moment we met one another.”

Obi-Wan answers her question plainly; however, it brings him back to a simpler time when what concerned him most was impressing you day in and day out. Ahsoka looks between the both of you. Her face falters and you can see how surprised she is by this fact. Sure, the two of you bicker; however, it’s hard for her to even imagine the two of you not getting along. You’re a team, everyone knows that. 

“He was this do everything by the books kind of guy who would call me out and correct everything that I did. He annoyed me to no end.” 

“And she was this spitfire who could not be contained: all this passion and drive, with no desire to listen to absolutely anyone --  _ especially me _ .” 

It was true. The two of you could not have been more different. In fact, you drove each other crazy. You’re certain that you annoyed him far more than he ever annoyed you; however, he’s never going to disclose that to you now. Even though you seemed like an unlikely pair in the beginning, there was something that held the two of you together. 

“What changed?”

“We got to know each other more. We spent so much of our time together: training, studying, and everything in between. At first, it was like we were competing with one another over everything, but after a while, we seemed to balance each other out. Now we’re rarely apart.” 

You glance back at Obi-Wan who was already looking at you. His boyish grin now replaced with an earnest smile. God, you drove him crazy, but he’d do it all over again if given the chance. 

“Still annoying each other to no end though, right?” 

Anakin’s joke earns him a laugh from both you and Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan’s gaze shifts from you to Anakin, eyes lighting up in the process. You know what he’s going to say before he even opened his mouth. 

“Well, you’re certainly not wrong.” 


	2. You have never been to Sundari before.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan Kenobi gets word that Duchess Satine Kryze’s life is in danger, but the council is certain that the Senate will not allow him to give his assistance if asked. Accompanying your fellow Jedi Master on his rogue mission with the help of his former Padawan Anakin Skywalker and his Padawan Ahsoka Tano, the four of you meet with the Duchess in Mandalore. The mission is dangerous, but something else seems to be troubling Obi-Wan.

_ You have never been to Sundari before. _

In fact, you have never been to Mandalore before. Obi-Wan, however, is extremely familiar with Mandalore. When you were both just teenagers, Obi-Wan was sent on a mission to protect Satine Kryze from insurgents with his former master, Qui-Gon Jinn. They had hoped that the mission would be done within a few months, however, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were in Mandalore for a year. Obi-Wan relayed a few stories from his time on Mandalore with you over the years, but it remained a subject that he rarely brought up. Anakin often tries to pry stories from that year-long mission out of him. When he inevitably does, you can see Obi-Wan's entire body immediately stiffen. From the little information that he has told you, you know his time on Mandalore was traumatic and still haunts him to this day, but you don't know to what extent. 

After landing on Mandalore, the four of you are escorted through the Sundari Royal Palace to meet with the Duchess. Anakin and Ahsoka walk side-by-side in front of you. Ahsoka is conversing excitedly with Anakin about the mission and Mandalore. While the pair before you seem light-hearted and comfortable, Obi-Wan seems to be anything but. The man is radiating waves of tension and anxiety off of him from beside you. You glance quickly at the man, noticing his furrowed brow and tense shoulders immediately. Obi-Wan has always been extremely prepared for whatever a mission had in store. You have admired his focus and drive since the two of you were children. However, you know him well enough to tell that this isn’t normal. He is a careful and cautious man, not an anxious one. Obi-Wan is walking rather close beside you, allowing you to brush your shoulder against his arm discreetly -- the action is enough to draw his attention to you. His eyes meet yours and you raise your eyebrows curiously, silently asking him if anything is wrong. He quickly shakes his head and rolls his shoulders back, attempting to loosen up, but there is still a rigidness in his posture that he can't shake. Before you can question him further, the four of you are ushered into an open door.

“Ahsoka, Anakin. It is a pleasure to meet you.”

Both Ahsoka and Anakin bow their heads in response to the Duchess’ greeting.

“The pleasure is all ours Duchess. We just wish we were meeting under different circumstances.”

A small smile tugs at the corners of your lips as you listen to Anakin converse with the Duchess. The first time you’d met Anakin, he was just a child and had so much to learn. You remember standing beside Obi-Wan holding back chuckles as you both listened to him attempt to make conversation with Padme. He luckily had Obi-Wan, who was always quick on his feet and ratherly charismatic when he wanted to be, to learn from. Anakin had grown into a man during your time together and you can't help the proud smile tugging at your lips at the thought. He was Obi-Wan's padawan, but there was a part of you that always thought he was a little bit yours as well. Through the many years spent with Anakin and Obi-Wan, the three of you became a team. The three of you became  _ family _ . 

You are pulled from your thoughts as Anakin and Ahsoka step aside. Obi-Wan steps forward first and you copy his actions. Satine's eyes settle on Obi-Wan first and she seems to physically relax as she maintains eye contact with the Jedi. You know the feeling well. There's something about that man's stormy blue eyes that seem to settle your mind down constantly. It may be due to the fact that you can determine exactly how he's feeling by the look in his eyes. He may be able to maintain his calm, cool, and collected demeanor through his facial expressions and actions, but Obi-Wan's tell has always been his eyes. There is something comforting about that. Or it may be due to the familiarity in his gaze. When he looks at you, you know that you're  _ seen _ and  _ known _ . Or it could just be that fact that they're the eyes you've been looking back at for over thirty years now. 

"Obi-Wan, thank you for coming. I was afraid you’d be unable to convince the Council."

“You know me Duchess, always the charmer.”

Obi-Wan bows his head just as Anakin and Ahsoka had, but maintains eye contact with the Duchess. You know he is proud of himself based on the smug grin plastered on his face. You are always impressed by how quickly he can recover from his emotions. The tension in his shoulders and brow that were prevalent minutes ago have suddenly disappeared. He seems to be back to the charismatic Obi-Wan that everyone knows well. You roll your eyes at Obi-Wan’s actions before opening your mouth to introduce yourself, but the Duchess interrupts before you can utter a word.

“You definitely don’t need an introduction.”

You lift a brow at the Duchess’ comment and glance around the room, judging the reactions of everyone else around you. The confidence you had upon walking into the throne room is now gone, replaced by discomfort. Anakin and Ahsoka look as confused as you are. You make eye contact with Anakin and he gives you a small shrug in reply. Shifting your gaze to Obi-Wan, the smug look on his face is long gone and he looks almost,  _ embarrassed _ . The Duchess clears her throat, gaining your attention once again.

“Obi-Wan had told me all about his closest friend during his last time in Mandalore.”

Satine is grinning at the two of you. She seems to enjoy the way her words make Obi-Wan squirm beside you. A new wave of confidence washes over you as you shift your attention to Obi-Wan who looks at Satine as if she has betrayed him; however, he meets your eyes as he feels your gaze on him. It is now his turn to roll his eyes at your behavior.

“You may have come up in conversation once or twice.”

Obi-Wan speaks almost reluctantly, but a small grin graces his lips as he watches you from the corner of his eye. You are enjoying this, he can tell by the way your eyes are lighting up and how you can't seem to keep your usual composure. It's a rare sight to see you like this, especially as the war drags on day-by-day.

As introductions finish, everyone seems to settle into a comfortable groove with one another. Satine begins to converse more with an excited Anakin and an even more ecstatic Ahsoka as the guards move to their usual positions. Obi-Wan however stays by your side. You can feel his tension returning as the room relaxes. Your brows furrow as you glance at him once again. You place a hand on his bicep which pulls him out of his own head for a moment. His eyes settle on you and his face immediately softens, but there is something there you can't quite place. You nudge your head toward the door, silently asking him to talk. He nods once in response, gesturing for you to go first and you lead him into the empty hallway.

“What’s going on?”

He dodges your eye contact, his gaze settling just above your shoulder. You can see the gears turning in his head. He is thinking,  _ hard _ . You aren’t sure what about, but it’s got to be pretty damn important to make him this distraught. Obi-Wan rarely has trouble maintaining his composure, it’s just something that comes naturally for him, but right now he is trying desperately to keep it together. He has always been good at adapting and he's incredible at staying calm under insane amounts of pressure and chaos. Vulnerability, however, is something he avoids like the plague. You sigh, knowing that this is making him uncomfortable, but also knowing whatever is going on in his head will eat him alive if he doesn't open up soon.

“Something’s wrong and you’ve gotta talk about it.”

“It’s probably nothing.”

He’s dismissive. You take a step closer to him before speaking again, this time softer. 

“ _ Ben… _ ”

Obi-Wan closes his eyes as his name leaves your lips -- as  _ that _ name leaves your lips. He remembers the first time that you called him that, in the privacy of an empty hallway at the Jedi Temple. Obi-Wan had been walking you back to your room early in the morning after the two of you had just spent a long night at the library together. In your youth, you and Obi-Wan could often be found in a quiet corner of the Jedi Temple’s library. 

Obi-Wan had always been studious. He was dedicated, passionate, and disciplined -- that’s why you were often dragged to the library by the bright-eyed padawan in the early evening, promising that the two of you wouldn’t be there long. He never kept that promise. You always knew that the night would end with a quiet walk back to your quarters, trying to not get caught past curfew, but you continued to follow him through the stacks of books anyways. In all honesty, you often learned more from watching him work than in your countless nights spent studying for hours on end. 

You were a good student and a good apprentice. Your curiosity was both a gift and a curse during your time training at the Jedi Temple. What you lacked in discipline, you made up for in compassion. Obi-Wan was constantly in awe of your generosity and desire for justice. It’s as if what one of you lacked, the other made up for. 

Obi-Wan is the head and you are the heart -- both powerful on your own, but together unstoppable. It had started out as a joke between the two of you, until you both learned more about the nature of your deep bond. 

The two of you stopped just outside your door. Usually, you would turn and bid Obi-Wan a good night, knowing in a few hours he’d be standing here again, waiting to grab food with you before training began, but today something felt wrong. Obi-Wan hadn’t said anything to concern you, but you could feel a turmoil inside of him. That’d been happening more recently -- the feeling in your gut that something was wrong with Obi-Wan and you were becoming concerned with how strong those feelings were growing. However, you didn't care tonight. You didn't know if it was because of how foggy your mind was becoming as each hour passed and the sunrise grew nearer or how the light from Coruscant’s moons flooding into the Temple made his features softer than normal, but right now the only concern on your mind in this quiet corridor was Obi-Wan.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing.”

There was silence. He half expected you to retire to your quarters, but you planted yourself before him. Looking back, you hadn’t known him long. The two of you weren’t even teenagers yet. But you were certain you’d known him forever. In that time Obi-Wan rarely spoke of what troubled him, but you were determined to be there for him. 

“It’s not nothing if it’s making you upset.”

He sighed in response, raking a hand through his tousled hair. His auburn locks were sticking up haphazardly and his braid was messy -- the hair now trying to escape in every direction. It reminded you of the early mornings when you would have to rebraid it in your quarters before Qui-Gon saw him. Gods, if Qui-Gon saw him right now Obi-Wan would surely be getting a lecture, but at this moment you thought he looked quite cute.

“ _ Ben, talk to me _ .”

His head shot up and his brows furrowed at the plea. You’d never called him that before, no one had ever called him that before. No one had ever called him anything but Obi-Wan since he came to the temple, except for the occasional Obi from you and Qui-Gon. His eyes softened at the realization that you just gave him a nickname. He didn’t have any nicknames,  _ but you did _ . A small smile tugged at his lips as the thought of a name that was his that only the two of you shared crossed his mind. He looked back at you, meeting your gaze. Your eyes were begging for him to say something.

“What if I’m not enough?”

“What are you talking about?”

“What if I’m not smart enough to be a Jedi? Or brave enough? Or strong enough?”

Obi-Wan’s gaze fell to the floor as he spoke. He was ashamed of the thoughts racing inside his head that he had now spoken to you. It was scary, sharing the thoughts that worried him endlessly with you. It was scary letting someone see so much of him. As the silence grew he began to worry that he had shared too much -- maybe he had let you in too quickly.

“You’re enough for me.”

It felt like someone just hit him in the chest -- as if all the air in his lungs had been knocked out of him. In just four words you washed away all the insecurity that had been looming in his head for weeks. 

“And you’re enough for Master Qui-Gon. Anyone who says otherwise can come talk to me.”

You stepped forward and wrapped your arms around his waist tightly -- Obi-Wan hadn’t hit his growth spurt just yet, but he was still much taller than you. After a few moments, Obi-Wan wrapped his arms around your shoulders, resting his head on top of yours. He’d never been one for physical touch, but your hugs were starting to grow on him. And in the comfort of your embrace, Obi-Wan began to feel safe. He trusts you and that’s okay.

He didn’t say anything about the name, neither of you did. It wasn’t something he ever brought up, but you continued to use it; however, you kept it as something for just the two of you to share. It was a name whispered in quiet corridors in the Jedi Temple when you two were out past curfew, uttered when one of you would slip into the other’s quarters on a particularly bad day, or exchanged in private messages sent back and forth to each other while you were separated by distance. There isn't a lot of privacy in the life of a Jedi, but this is something that has always just been your’s and Obi-Wan’s. 

You repeat his name once again and nothing has changed. He's left breathless as his name, as that name leaves your lips. He brings himself to turn his attention back to you, meeting your eyes with his. You are looking back at him with so much worry. Gods, sometimes he wishes you didn't care about him so damn much. But if you didn't who would -- you may be the only person in the galaxy that truly  _ knows _ Obi-Wan Kenobi. He sighs, running his hand over his beard and letting it settle just above his chin. 

“I have a bad feeling about this.”

He waits for you to say something, but he’s met with a comfortable silence. You shift your weight from one foot to the other, waiting for him to continue. You know there is more -- there is always more going on in his head. He takes a second to think about his next words. He slides his tongue over his top lip, something he does when he’s concentrating. You can tell that he's trying to pick his words very carefully.

“Just say what’s on your mind. I can take it.”

He knows you’re trying to reassure him, but he continues to look at you skeptically. You give him one more nod before he gives in.

“I don’t know if it’s just Madalore and what happened the last time I was here, but something doesn’t feel right. And this time the Duchess isn’t the only one I have to worry about. Ahsoka is here with Anakin --  _ and you _ .”

“Hey.”

You grab the hand that had been resting just above his chin as he began to tug slightly at his beard. You know it is a nervous habit of his, but you don't want him to accidentally hurt himself in his worrying. This gets his attention. His eyes had settled on the floor while he was speaking, he didn’t want to make eye contact with you while he was sharing the thoughts currently racing in his head. Just like when he was just a boy, they are something that he is deeply ashamed of. 

“Ahsoka and Anakin will look out for each other, they always do. And you don’t have to worry about me.”

He looks at you incredulously, as if what you just said was the most absurd thing he has ever heard. He steals his hand away from yours and runs both of his hands through his hair, pushing it out of his face. He wishes you'd understand just how anxious you being here makes him. 

“I always worry about you.”

“I know.”

You search his eyes. There is still something there that you can't quite place, but you continue to study his face hoping it will tell you something. And then it hits you, you have seen this face before. And as you continue to look at him, you see the face of the young boy who put his trust in you in a quiet hallway years ago. Many things have changed since then, but he is still Obi-Wan. And Obi-Wan experiences emotions like everyone else, even  _ fear _ .

You wish you were both in one of the quiet, empty corridors in the Jedi Temple, or in the privacy of one of your quarters, or even on one of the distant planets the two of you have visited during your few leaves, so that you could do the only thing you know could help right now: wrap your arms tightly around his waist and hold him until he feels steadier. Instead, you both have to practice precaution as there are eyes everywhere -- the two of you may be alone right now, but anyone could walk down this hallway. And you two aren't just visiting Mandalore, you are on a mission and there is a constant threat that you both must always be prepared for. 

Instead, you gently place a hand on his bicep. The touch was fleeting -- once Obi-Wan could feel it, it was gone. The look on your face says it all, you wish you could do more for him at this moment. But it is enough for now. It got your message across, a message you remind him of constantly: _ you're with him and he's okay _ . 


	3. The first three days were quiet.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan Kenobi gets word that the Duchess Satine Kryze’s life is in danger, but the council is certain that the Senate will not allow him to give his assistance if asked. Accompanying your fellow Jedi Master on his rogue mission with the help of his former padawan Anakin Skywalker and his padawan Ahsoka Tano, the four of you settle into your positions at the Sundari Palace as the threat on the Duchess’ life begins to grow more distant with each passing day. However, you learn the consequences of not checking over your shoulder the hard way.

_ The first three days were quiet. _

Almost  _ too _ quiet, according to Obi-Wan. The two of you have spent a majority of your time patrolling the Sundari Palace while Anakin and Ahsoka act as a personal Jedi security detail to the Duchess. You know that Anakin and Ahsoka are growing tired of the job. It is repetitive, mundane, and lacks the action that the pair have grown used to during the war. You blame Obi-Wan for Anakin’s incessant need to throw himself into the line of fire -- even though you’re certain that the young man learned it from watching you and Obi-Wan rush head first into battle together. Obi-Wan, however, was his master, not you, so it made it easy to use him as a scapegoat. 

While Anakin and Ahsoka are growing tiresome, you and Obi-Wan are enjoying the simpleness of getting to spend periods of uninterrupted time together. This is something you and Obi-Wan haven’t experienced in a very long time -- not since you both were training at the Jedi Temple together many moons ago. The war often sent you and Obi-Wan across the galaxy from one another. Although you lead the 212th Attack Battalion with him, there is often a need to split the 212th between the two of you on separate missions -- Obi-Wan with Cody and you with Gregor. This results in long periods of time where your only communication with Obi-Wan is through updates to the Jedi Council and, if you’re lucky, a few private messages to each other’s personal communicators. It’s a hard way to live, but the war requires sacrifices from all. 

Your heart yearns for the end of the war. For Anakin and Ahsoka to see what the Jedi look like outside of a galactic war. For them to live as peacekeepers instead of generals and commanders. For Obi-Wan who grows more exhausted every day that the war drags on. Although he is regarded as one of the most skilled Jedis in the order, you know he’d agree to never swing the saber attached to his hip again if it meant that the war would end tomorrow. He’s deadly in battle, but the violence and death that comes at the expense of a war has worn him down. For the clones that you have grown fond of over the years. You hope one day that you can watch Rex, Cody, and the 212th Attack Battalion create lives for themselves and become something other than soldiers. And for yourself, for reasons that the Jedi Order may deem selfish, but you regard as human. 

The war was still as present as ever, but this mission became an escape for you. There were no battle plans to look over or orders to give. However, the four of you have simply traded in one threat for another. A threat that has stayed in shadows. Because you are so used to an enemy that attacks in the hundreds or thousands-- it’s easy to forget that Death Watch is dangerous. The quietness has allowed all four of you to grow  _ comfortable _ .

You and Obi-Wan enter the throne room to reconvene with the Duchess, Anakin, and Ahsoka after another uneventful patrol around the palace. Anakin and Ahsoka are laughing with the Duchess as the three converse amongst themselves. The sight brings a fond smile to your face. You glance at Obi-Wan, whose expression matches yours. He meets your eyes and his expression turns somber --  _ he knows what’s troubling you without asking _ . He reaches out and places a firm hand on your shoulder. A simple reminder that this one day will be a normal, every day occurrence. 

“Ahh, now it’s a party.”

Obi-Wan rolls his eyes at his former padawan, but the comment elicits a small chuckle from the Jedi Master standing beside you.

“We’re just checking in, Anakin.”

“Everything’s been quiet here,  _ like usual _ .”

Obi-Wan’s brow furrows at Anakin’s answer and Anakin’s face immediately twists into regret. You glance at Ahsoka and let out a soft sigh, knowing where this is about to go. 

“Don’t allow your mind to drift, Anakin. It’s vital that we all stay sharp.”

“Yes, Master.”

“I think I’d like to spend some time in the palace gardens. Obi-Wan, do you mind if I steal her from you for just a quick walk?”

Satine’s voice breaks the tension and you're relieved that you weren’t the one that had to ease the conversation back to a comfortable place. Obi-Wan’s attention shifts from his former padawan to the Duchess. His hand comes up to rest against his chin. 

“I don’t think that’s the best idea, Duchess.”

“Obi-Wan, I’ve been stuck in this room for several days and It has been  _ awfully  _ quiet.”

“Ahsoka can accompany us as well, for extra protection.”

As soon as the words leave your mouth, Obi-Wan’s eyes are on you. You know why he’s opposed to the idea, but even you were desperate for a change in the monotony. 

“ _ Dearest _ …” 

His head tilts to the side, eyes pleading with yours.  _ He wishes you’d understand just how anxious you being here makes him. _

“It’s just a quick walk. Ahsoka and I can handle it. Do you trust me?”

“Undoubtedly.”

His response is immediate and he looks at you as though it’s absurd that you even asked him that, but then he understands. He closes his eyes and emits a solemn sigh, nodding his head once. You nod to Ahsoka, silently telling her to start walking with the Duchess.

“Take Anakin on patrol, we’ll be back before you know it.”

“Don’t worry  _ Pops _ , I’ve got her back.”

Ahsoka’s comical consolation gets a chuckle out of Anakin, who was the one who came up with the absurd nickname with Ahsoka. It was a running joke between Anakin and Ahsoka that you and Obi-Wan are their parents due to your ever present parental demeanor with them. Whenever they decide that Obi-Wan is being too much of a worried father, they call him ‘Pops’, and whenever you’re being too much of a concerned mother, they call you ‘Mom’. You and Obi-Wan have grown used to it and it’s all in good fun -- except for the conversation you had to have with Master Windu after he overheard Anakin saying “ _ Fine, Mom _ ” to you when Obi-Wan had asked you to speak to him after a council meeting that had gone, according to Obi-Wan,  _ not very well.  _ And it’s not like they’re wrong. The four of you had become somewhat of a familial unit throughout your time together. Obi-Wan was the first father figure that Anakin had in his life. You and Anakin had always been close, but after the death of his mother he began to rely on you more and more as a source of stability. As for Ahsoka, you and Obi-Wan are really the only parental figures she’s ever known. She was far too young when Master Plo Koon found her on Shili and brought her to the Jedi Temple to remember her parents or really any one from her homeworld. For Ahsoka, you, Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Plo Koon were the only family she has. And it isn’t just Anakin and Ahsoka who feel this sort of bond. Although the Jedi warn against attachment, you’ve both grown attached to the reckless pair. You’ve watched them grow up and into the Jedi they are today. Of course, you both take pride in both of them.

“ _ I always worry. _ ”

Obi-Wan speaks quietly. You’re probably the only one who heard him. His voice is defeated, but he nods once assuring you that it’s okay. 

“ _ I know. _ ”

You turn away from him and follow after Ahsoka and the Duchess. The walk to the palace gardens is rather short and Ahsoka spends most of the walk making conversation with the Duchess while you linger behind them, checking your surroundings. The gardens are peaceful --  _ Obi-Wan would like it here. You can imagine him out here in the early hours of the morning after his meditation with a cup of tea in his hand. _ Your eyes scan the gardens, drowning out the voices of Ahsoka and the Duchess. There are two royal guards on either side of the gardens, but other than that the three of you are alone. Still, there’s a nagging anxiety that won’t leave the back of your head as words Obi-Wan said rattle in your mind.

_ It’s been quiet, too quiet. _

_ Don’t allow your mind to drift. It’s vital that we all stay sharp. _

“You know this is only a precaution. There’s no need to worry so much.”

You’re pulled from your thoughts as the Duchess slows down to a stop and looks to you. 

“I’m sorry Duchess. I’m just doing my job.”

You speed up your pace to close the distance you created between them. The Duchess laughs softly at your response. You fall in step beside Ahsoka who looks almost giddy sandwiched between you and the Duchess. She looks up at you with big, excited eyes and you pat her shoulder lightly.

“You two a very similar, you know?”

Your eyes dance between Ahsoka and the Duchess before settling on Satine, arching an eyebrow slightly at her observation. 

“You and Obi-Wan.”

A soft laugh escapes your lips as she continues. 

“Always so concerned about everyone else, you often can’t see what’s in front of you.”

You arch an eyebrow at her. Now understanding why her and Obi-Wan get along so well, she’s incredibly intelligent and observant while also being daring enough to speak her mind. 

“Maybe.”

You shrug your shoulders and simply avoid the comment entirely. The Duchess lets out a gentle laugh as the three of you continue walking. There is a natural lull in the conversation and you all stop in the middle of the garden, appreciating the beauty of it all. 

“When did Master Obi-Wan start calling you that?”

Ahsoka’s curiosity is getting the best of her once again, just as it did during the flight to Mandalore. 

“It’s an old name he’s used since the two of us were young.”

You’re not lying. Obi-Wan has called you that for most of your lives. At first he’d told you it was because whenever you’d show up while he was with Master Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan’s old master would let out a soft ‘ _ oh dear _ ’ because you often were a distraction for his Padawan. Obi-Wan told you this one night spent studying at the temple’s library when you both were teenagers and at some point in the conversation Obi-Wan very cleverly deemed you ‘ _ Dearest _ ’ as a joke, but it eventually stuck due to the reaction it’d elicit from you.

However, the name changed meanings after the war began and you had been badly injured in a battle you were leading with Obi-Wan. You remember waking up in one of the medical tents and seeing Obi-Wan sitting stiffly in an incredibly uncomfortable chair that Cody had brought in for him after he’d realized the General was not going to leave your side anytime soon.

“Ben?”

Obi-Wan’s head immediately rose and his eyes landed on you. He grabbed his chair and pulled it closer to the makeshift bed that the medics created for you. 

“How long have you been sitting here?”

Obi-Wan swept a hand through his auburn locks and let out a sigh.

“A couple days. We’ve got this front under control, just waiting for an evac.”

“Go get some sleep, have Cody or Gregor come in if that’d make you feel better.”

Obi-Wan shook his head immediately and drew closer to you.

“I’m not leaving your side until we’re back on Coruscant.”

“Why?”

He simply looked at you for a second. His eyes were full of unspoken emotions, something that had become normal between the two of you but Obi-Wan’s emotions were overwhelming right now and his lack of sleep was making it feel as though he was going to break at any moment. However, he gathered himself and slowly moved his hands to hold one of yours in his own. What he told you next, you’ll remember for the rest of your days. 

“You are the thing I hold  _ dearest _ in my life. I need to make sure you’re safe.”

After that, the name changed from a friendly jab that he used to get a rise out of you to a meaningful term of endearment. 

The Duchess’ soft laugh drew you back to the moment and a soft smile played on your lips at the memories flooding back to your mind.

“Well, _ he certainly seems to like you _ .”

You let out a surprised laugh before brushing the comment off and turning around to tell one of the guards that you’ll be escorting the Duchess back to the throne room, but he was missing from his post. Your hand instinctively moved to grab your saber and you glanced to the other side of the garden where the other guard was missing as well. 

“Ahsoka, cover the Duchess. Something doesn’t feel right.”

From the other side of the Sundari Palace, Obi-Wan and Anakin are meandering through the hallways as they make their way back to the throne room to meet up with the three of you. Anakin was telling Obi-Wan about his and Ahsoka’s last battle where he and Rex pulled off yet another completely reckless and risky battle plan. Obi-Wan prepares himself to scold him, but he stops dead in his tracks. Anakin takes a few more steps and then stops as well, looking back at his former master.

“What’s wrong, Master?”

“Something doesn’t feel right.”

He closes his eyes to focus on the feeling currently taking over his mind and body, but he struggles to understand it -- it’s not fear or worry, it something else. It almost makes him sick to his stomach. He feels the need to be at high alert, almost as if… _ you. _ It’s you and you’re in trouble. His eyes snap open and he looks at his former padawan who looks almost panicked.

“The gardens.”

That’s all Anakin needs to hear to get him into action. The pair take off sprinting through the hallways of the palace trying to get to the gardens as fast as possible. They grab their sabers and ignite them, ready for whatever is there for them when they reach their destination. Anakin is faster than Obi-Wan and makes it to the garden’s entrance before him. He spots you holding off three members of Death Watch. He tries to find Ahsoka and the Duchess but notices the gunner approaching you from your blindspot first. He sprints towards the gunner but he’s not quick enough. The gunner takes a shot before Anakin can get to him and hits you in the calf with a single bolt, causing you to drop your saber and fall. There’s no way Anakin can get to you before Death Watch does, but you’re currently defenseless and he has to try. He manages to force push two of the attackers away, but the third is dangerously close.

You attempt to grab your saber and make one last stand, but your leg gives out. You brace yourself for what’s about to come, but instead you hear a saber slash. Looking up, Obi-Wan is standing in front of you in a defensive position, holding back the attacker. 

Anakin appears at your side shortly after and drops down on one knee.

“Are you okay?”

You nod trying to calm down the boy. You know how much a situation like this weighs on Anakin’s heart. All he wants to do is protect his family and you’re a part of that.

“Can you walk?”

“I don’t think so.”

Anakin nods and looks up at Obi-Wan before finding Ahsoka and the Duchess on the other side of the gardens. Ahsoka is holding off just as many attackers. You look around and there’s Death Watch everywhere and there’s bound to be more on the way. Obi-Wan glances back at you worriedly and you know what has to be done.

“Obi-Wan there’s too many. We have to get out of here with the Duchess.”

Obi-Wan thinks for a moment, using his saber to block another bolt.

“I know a place. Anakin…”

“I’ve got her.”

Anakin leans down and helps you stand up. With Anakin’s arm wrapped around your middle, you get Ahsoka’s attention and the five of you begin your escape through the palace. 

The quietness allowed you to grow  _ comfortable,  _ but you should’ve known better. There’s nothing comfortable about war.


	4. Being on the run isn’t easy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan Kenobi gets word that Duchess Satine Kryze’s life is in danger, but the council is certain that the Senate will not allow him to give his assistance if asked. Accompanying your fellow Jedi Master on his rogue mission with the help of his former Padawan Anakin Skywalker and his Padawan Ahsoka Tano, the four of you have found sanctuary at an old hideout from Obi-Wan’s past mission. Right now, it’s all about lying low and passing time, but your nightmares are making it difficult.

_ Being on the run isn’t easy _ .

It’s nothing like the old holovids you and Obi-Wan watched in the privacy of your quarters as younglings. Huddled under the covers, taking in the action and excitement. You and Obi-Wan cheered on outlaws, and criminals, and vigilantes that were portrayed as inherently flawed, but beautifully human. The characters were constantly on the run and the holovids made it look so enthralling -- like the journey of a lifetime. It was something you wished to feel -- the freedom and exhilaration of never knowing what was to come next.

“Does it hurt?”

Ahsoka’s voice pulls you back to reality. You aren’t a youngling back at the Jedi Temple watching old holovids with Obi-Wan, you’re on the run in Mandalore, trying to protect the Duchess from Death Watch. Now, you would scoff at those old holovids -- knowing what it truly feels like to be in hiding. Knowing what it feels like to be unable to let your guard down,  _ ever _ . You have to be constantly looking behind your shoulder, looking for an enemy in the shadows, while also cautiously examining each and every step forward, one wrong move and you’re dead. It’s not the journey of a lifetime, it’s like walking through hell every single day. You would take the promise of security and safety, as opposed to the uncertainty of danger around every corner any day.

It’s been four days.

_ How did Obi-Wan do this for an entire year? _

_ Obi-Wan _ . You may not be in the comfort of your quarters, but you are with him. He’s across the room from you, with Anakin. The five of you were hiding out at an abandoned warehouse that Obi-Wan, Master Qui-Gon, and the Duchess had found during their last time on the run. Obi-Wan is sparring with Anakin, using some old metal pipes that they had found during one of their early walk-throughs, assessing the safety of the building. He’s trying to keep his former padawan preoccupied. He knows all too well how Anakin does with lying low. Since his youth, Anakin has always enjoyed the excitement of battle. If he were leading the mission, he’d want to face Death Watch head-on -- meet them on their turf, not hope that they wouldn’t find them hiding out in the lower levels of Mandalore. 

_ Patience has never been his virtue -- but it is Obi-Wan’s _ . 

He knows when to act and when to wait. Often in these moments, Anakin will argue with Obi-Wan’s methods, thinking that his inaction is a detriment to the mission. And in these moments Obi-Wan looks at his former padawan, now a young man, standing taller than him, with a look of fondness -- he’s still that boy that could never say no to a fight that he had met on Tatooine all those years ago. The same boy who had entered a pod race after promising a Jedi Master that he could certainly win, knowing that every race he had entered ended in defeat. And yet, he won. The same boy that when told to stay seated in a starfighter, did exactly that and took off into a battle at just nine years old. And yet, he destroyed a blockade ship. Fighting has always worked for Anakin Skywalker -- fighting is all he had ever known.

Obi-Wan is not a fighter. He’s skilled with his saber, deadly in battle. You’ve sparred against him on many occasions. He’s a hard opponent to beat, but he’s not a fighter. He’s a diplomat. There’s a reason he has been deemed ‘the Negotiator’ when talked about at the Jedi Temple. He knows not every action needs to be violence -- not every mission needs to be a battle. He’ll fight, but he knows what fights to choose. He knows how to wait for when his odds are best -- because Obi-Wan Kenobi does not believe in luck. He stopped believing in that old word years ago, after he lost Master Qui-Gon. You know why --  _ every unlucky man believes that luck is a myth _ . Anakin though, knows he’s lucky and uses it to his advantage.

“I think I’ll live.”

Ahsoka chuckles as she begins to switch the bandages on your wound. You’re still in pain, but it’s no longer as excruciating as it had been that first day. Once you had all found the place you were staying for the night, getting your leg patched up was the first priority.

Obi-Wan helped you to a small side room as Anakin told Ahsoka to stay put with the Duchess. Anakin knows that Ahsoka has seen worse during her training, she’s been in the battlefield with him. She’s seen what happens in the heat of battle, but it’s always different when it’s someone you care about. Obi-Wan helped you up onto a table as Anakin entered the room, closing the door behind him softly. Obi-Wan cautiously rolled up your pant leg, moving slower with every wince you’d emit. It was bad. You could tell by the way his jaw immediately clenched at the sight. He tried to keep his face neutral in an attempt to keep you calm, but you noticed the flash of nervousness in his eyes. Anakin let out a heavy sigh as he looked at the wound. 

“We have to stop the bleeding.”

Obi-Wan looked to his former padawan. He knew Anakin was right, but he also knew that they were very unprepared for a situation like this. You had no equipment, no medical supplies, all you had was what was on your person when you all fled the Sundari Royal Palace today. The pair looked around the small room trying to find something --  _ anything _ . And then Anakin looked down to Obi-Wan’s hip and his gaze settled there. Obi-Wan followed the boy’s gaze and his eyes landed on his saber which was strapped to his side. 

You let out a solemn sigh -- knowing this is the only way to stop the bleeding right now. A saber could cauterize the wound which would help for the time being. Looking up, Obi-Wan had a pained expression on his face. He wants to help you, but the last thing he wants to do is hurt you. His hand grabbed the saber, but he hesitated igniting it.  _ This is going to hurt. You’re going to be in pain. You’re probably going to scream _ .  _ He’s not sure if he can do this _ . 

Anakin noticed his hesitation and took a step toward his former Master, placing a hand on his shoulder. His hand grabbed the saber in Obi-Wan’s grip. Obi-Wan looked up at Anakin, his face washing into one of relief.

“I’ll do it.”

Obi-Wan nodded at Anakin and allowed the boy to take his saber. He moved to your side, helping you lay down on the table. His hands are gentle. Everything he's doing was gentle. 

“This is going to hurt, but you need to try and stay quiet.”

You looked at Obi-Wan and gave him a nod in response. You’re in hiding, can’t make too much noise. You’re not quite sure how you’ll handle this, but you’ll try your best. 

Anakin ignited the saber and placed a hand on your leg.

“I’m sorry, in advance.”

You looked up at the boy. His eyes are kind -- they were always kind, you just had to look past the hard shell he has created for himself over the years. You gave him a reassuring look. He’s doing a good thing. He’s helping his friends. That’s always what’s driven him -- a desire to help the ones he loves. 

“It’s okay, Anakin.”

Anakin nodded and then moved to cautiously press the saber against the wound. Your face twisted in pain and you clench your teeth together. The searing pain was excruciating. This was the first time you’d felt the burn of a saber. You turned your head so that your right cheek was flush against the table. You tried desperately to keep your breaths steady, but you are panicking. Tears fell down your cheeks as the pain continued to travel through your body.

And then Obi-Wan’s hand came to rest upon your shoulder, his other grabbing your hand.  _ He’s there. He’s got you _ . You squeezed his hand hard in return and he let you. Hell, he’d let you break every bone if it meant you weren’t in pain. He felt helpless as you lay next to him -- unable to do anything to assist you. Little did he know that his presence was what was getting you through this right now.  _ He’s there. He’s got you _ . 

Finally, Anakin pulled the saber away. You let out a sigh of relief as you attempted to even your breathing. It still hurt, but you weren’t bleeding anymore -- that’s what’s important right now.

“Are you okay?”

Obi-Wan’s voice was laced with concern. You nodded in return, unable to form a complete sentence. You heard Anakin sigh from the end of the table. He’s grateful that you’re okay. That wasn’t easy for him to do, but he’s glad Obi-Wan didn’t have to. Obi-Wan was relieved as well.  _ You’re okay. _ His hand continued to hold onto yours desperately. Anakin noticed, his eyes landing on your hand clasped around Obi-Wan’s. A small smirk played on Anakin’s lips. Now was not the time, but he’ll certainly use this against Obi-Wan later. ‘ _ Careful with attachments, Anakin _ ’ rang in his ears.

“Well, of course, Master. Your strength is indisputable.”

Ahsoka’s comment makes you smile softly. She looks up to you -- you know that. You remember a conversation you had with Anakin a while back. It was after Ahsoka had assisted you on a mission. It was under special circumstances. Anakin was needed elsewhere and couldn’t bring his padawan along, you had offered to take her immediately. You were grateful for the time you got to spend with Ahsoka -- most of your time with Ahsoka was often spent alongside Anakin and Obi-Wan as well. This was the first time you got to just see her. She reminded you so much of Anakin when he was just a boy being trained by Obi-Wan. 

“Thanks for looking out for her out there.”

Anakin’s voice was soft from behind you.

“Of course, Anakin. I care for her, just as I care for you.”

Anakin’s lips twitched up into a small smile at the comment. He’s fond of you. That’s not a secret. He’s been fond of you ever since Obi-Wan had introduced you to him when the pair returned to Coruscant. 

“I know you do. I’ve always been grateful for how you make us feel like family.”

“ _ You are family Anakin -- to me _ .”

Anakin shifted his weight from one foot to another. 

“You inspire her, you know that?”

Anakin moved to stand next to you. The pair of you watched on as Ahsoka detailed your mission to Rex, who was enthusiastically listening to the young girl.

“I’m glad she has such a strong woman in her life to look up to. I think that’s really important.”

You looked at Anakin. His eyes were already on you, _ they were kind -- they’re always kind _ . You gave him a small smile and placed a hand on his arm. It was a tender moment with Anakin, one you’ll always remember.

“Anyone would be okay, Ahsoka. It was just a simple blaster wound. Nothing too serious.”

“Wasn’t it Master Obi-Wan who once said ‘ _ there’s nothing simple about getting shot _ ’ to Anakin?”

On cue, Obi-Wan walks towards the two of you with Anakin trailing behind him. He’s wearing a sleeveless shirt and his tan trousers, his usual sparring outfit. His hair is messy. He attempts to sweep it back, but a few auburn locks insist on falling in front of his eyes.

“Yes, I did say that. And _ yet _ , everyone chooses to ignore me.”

You shoot him a playful glare because of his sarcastic comment. He’s in a surprisingly good mood -- you bet that he just beat Anakin in their sparring match. Ahsoka laughs at him and finishes dressing your wound.

“All done, Master.”

You thank Ahsoka and give her a small smile, before getting off of the table. Obi-Wan turns and walks beside you. He nudges your shoulder with his arm gently. You look up and he’s smiling at you. Rolling your eyes, you nudge him back -- _ he definitely won against Anakin _ .

The rest of the day continues on like this -- attempting to pass the time while the five of you wait for what’s next. You find yourself just outside one of the windows on the upper floor where there was a small balcony for you to sit on. The fence around the small platform shields you from any unwanted eyes. You have your back against the building, head tilted to the sky. You simply take some time to admire Mandalore’s two moons as everyone else sleeps. 

Or so you thought, until gentle footsteps start echoing through the hallway behind you. You turn your head and watch as Obi-Wan gracefully ducks through the window. He sits down beside you, shoulder leaning against yours, and for a while the two of you just sit in comfortable silence with one another.

“You can get some rest. I’ll stay up.”

His voice is soft. You shake your head in response. You’re not awake right now out of necessity for the mission. You simply do not want to go to sleep. There’s silence again and for a moment you think that Obi-Wan is going to let it go, but you should have known better. Obi-Wan doesn’t let things go --  _ not when it’s about you _ . 

“Want to tell me what’s wrong?”

Your brow furrows as you look at him.

"I can feel your anxiety, just as you felt my fear all those years ago." 

You know what he’s referring to. It was during his mission with Master Qui-Gon on Mandalore to protect the Duchess. The mission had already gone south -- it had been a few months since you had last seen Obi-Wan. No one knew anything about the mission and yet, you were certain that they were in trouble. Your Master told you that it was anxiety that you had to clear your mind of, but you knew it was something different. 

And then the nightmares started. They tormented you every night. You wished Obi-Wan were here with you. You wished you could send him a message in the middle of the night when the terrors were too much to take and have him lie with you in your quarters until you felt safe again. But you couldn’t. He wasn’t here. 

You woke up panicked. This was the worst night you’d had in a while. Fear filled your body -- you couldn’t shake it. You sat up and roughly rubbed your hands over your face. You’re fine. You’re at the Jedi Temple. Just clear your mind and go back to sleep. You looked up to see the time and saw him. 

_ Obi-Wan _ . 

He’s sitting opposite of you, on his own bed. His head is in his hands. His body is trembling. He’s scared. You move to the end of your bed to get closer to him, he’s just an arm’s reach away. You don’t know how he was here right now, but he was. He’s here.  _ Obi-Wan was here with you _ . But he can’t be -- he’s on Mandalore with Master Qui-Gon. You haven’t seen him in months. 

“Ben?”

Your voice broke the silence, but it was just a whisper. Slowly, Obi-Wan raised his head and turned his attention to you. His eyes were full of surprise. How were you here right now? You can’t be here. It’s not you. No, this is just some illusion Obi-Wan has created for himself in his panicked state. Gods, he wished you were here with him. 

“You’re not here.”

“I’m here.”

You tried to reassure him, but he shook his head furiously. His hands roughly rubbed his face. His breathing was uneven. Your brow furrowed and then your face softened. Obi-Wan was attempting to fight off a panic attack. 

“Ben, I’m here.”

You reached forward and grabbed his arm. You both pause. You could feel him.  _ He’s there _ . He could feel you.  _ You’re there _ . Obi-Wan slowly lifted his head once more and met your eyes -- his were glossed with tears. The sight made your heart wrench. In all the years you’d known Obi-Wan, you had never seen him cry. Whatever he’s going through right now has shaken him to his core. Obi-Wan’s hand moved to rest on top of yours. He’s making sure that you’re really here. 

And then he moved, needing you right now more than anything in the world. He wrapped his arms around your shoulders and pulled you into him tightly. His head came to rest against your shoulder. His breaths were quick and uneven. After a moment of surprise, you quickly wrapped your arms around his waist -- holding onto him for dear life.

“I’m so scared.”

Your heart broke as the words left his mouth. His voice was muffled against your shoulder, but you could still hear it break. You rubbed his back as he continued to hold onto you. Your eyes had begun to well up with tears too. You had never seen Obi-Wan so afraid -- it made you scared as well, but you gathered yourself. You had to. Obi-Wan  _ needed _ you.

“It’s okay. I’m here with you.”

The two of you sat like that all night. You were on completely different planets, but right here you had created your own little universe where it was just you and Obi-Wan. It was safe. It was exactly what both of you needed. You held him until the sun rose on Mandalore and he had to get back to his duties, but neither of you forgot about that night -- the night when you both did the impossible -- traveled light-years in seconds in order to find the comfort of one another’s presence. 

"I've been having nightmares." 

"Again?" 

You nod in response. 

"About me?" 

"Yes." 

Obi-Wan lets out a soft sigh. He hates when he’s the reason you’re so distraught -- it tears him apart inside.

"What happened to me that has you so troubled?" 

"I watch you die. I watch you die over and over again whenever I close my eyes."

Obi-Wan doesn’t know what to say. He can’t stop the nightmares, but he can try to make you feel safe just as you had all those years ago. So, he moves closer to you and wraps an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side. 

You lean your head on Obi-Wan’s shoulder and close your eyes. You try to find comfort in Obi-Wan’s presence, but you know what your nightmares mean -- they’re a warning. You wish you were in your own universe again where it was safe. And it was just you and Obi-Wan.


	5. You were safe for a while.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan Kenobi gets word that Duchess Satine Kryze’s life is in danger, but the council is certain that the Senate will not allow him to give his assistance if asked. Accompanying your fellow Jedi Master on his rogue mission with the help of his former Padawan Anakin Skywalker and his Padawan Ahsoka Tano, the five of you attempt to stay alive during yet another encounter with Death Watch. However, things get messy between you and Obi-Wan in a dark back alley passage.

_ You were safe for a while _ .

And then you weren’t. You had spent the past several days in hiding, moving from place to place. Obi-Wan’s knowledge of the lower levels is vast due to his past experience of being on the run in Mandalore. He has kept you all moving -- not wanting to stay anywhere long enough to draw Death Watch’s eyes. Not wanting to stay anywhere long enough to get  _ comfortable _ . You all now know the price of getting comfortable. But even with Obi-Wan’s precautions and careful planning, Death Watch is now on your trail. You aren’t sure how they found you, but they did. That’s what matters.

Your hood is pulled over your head, hiding your face from the bustling crowds of a local street market. Obi-Wan’s hope is that you can blend in, lose Death Watch, and find your next hideout. The only thing is that blending in means splitting up, which is how you have ended up walking a few paces behind Obi-Wan with the Duchess by your side -- Anakin and Ahsoka nowhere to be found. They had split away from you a while ago. All you know is that they’re somewhere in the street market, just like you.

Obi-Wan glances back at you, making sure you haven’t fallen too far behind. Worry is etched into his features -- you can see it from behind the fabric currently shielding most of his face from onlookers. He’s long since ditched the Jedi robes and has opted instead for his tan trousers and a matching loose, long-sleeved sweater. To help conceal his identity he has a thick tan shawl wrapped around his head, the extra fabric is hanging off his left shoulder gracefully -- it hides most of his defining features perfectly, except for his auburn beard which has grown wilder and untamed during his time on Mandalore. He looks like any other man in the crowded market, just like the rest of you,  _ but he’s not just any other man _ .

Obi-Wan stops as he spots Anakin’s black cloak far ahead of him in the crowd. He’s turning to head to the other side of the market with Ahsoka -- Obi-Wan wants to catch up to him before he inevitably loses him in the crowd once again. He turns to face you and the Duchess. You look at him with raised brows, wondering what he’s doing.

“I just spotted Anakin and Ahsoka a ways down the street. Stay here and blend in while I check in with them.”

You nod at his order before ushering the Duchess to where various stalls stocked with merchandise line the street. The two of you meander your way down the street, stopping every once and awhile to keep up appearances. You’re supposed to look like you’re shopping.

“He seems particularly concerned about you today.”

You look to your side, where the Duchess is standing -- pretending to browse through a stall full of jewelry you have both stopped in front of. She too has taken to wearing civvies as opposed to her usual royal attire. You know why she thinks that. Obi-Wan has been checking to make sure you’re still behind him more than he should --  _ more than he needs to _ \-- since you all made your way to the market.

“I am still limping and we're being hunted, that means eventually we'll have to run. And well…”

Your voice trails off as you look down to your leg. You’ve managed to hide the injury well under your baggy olive trousers, but it is still causing you immense pain. Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Ahsoka have done all they can to tend to the wound, but you require more than the basic first aid that they can provide. Still, you know what your mission is and your duty is to protect the Duchess -- you’re not going to let any injuries stand in the way of that.

"It's because he cares." 

"I know."

The Duchess picks up a necklace with a simple rope chain and a vibrant center stone. It reminds you of a trip you had taken with Obi-Wan on a past leave, before the war had started and had taken over your lives. A time when voyages to distant planets were for exploration, not for destruction. A more  _ peaceful _ time. 

You and Obi-Wan were visiting a planet with magnificent stone beaches. The two of you spent your days by the water, walking the length of the coast together and sitting side-by-side to admire the way the sun hit the water -- making it almost glisten. During one of your strolls, a spotty stone at your feet caught your attention. It was a small, light grey -- almost white -- stone with little, maroon colored speckles covering it entirely. You picked it up, admiring it for a few seconds before bending to place it back down at your feet, hoping you could catch up to Obi-Wan before he noticed that you were trailing behind him. Nevertheless,  _ he noticed _ .

And at the end of that short leave, Obi-Wan handed you a small cloth bag. You gave him a confused look, not understanding what he was up to. It wasn’t a special occasion.

“Just open it.”

You did as he said and found a necklace sitting neatly in the cloth. It had a string chain, long enough to simply pull over your head -- no need for a clasp. And in the center of the pendant was that small stone that you had taken the time to admire on the beach.  _ He had gone back to find it _ . He was observant, in a tender kind of way that made your heart swell with unspoken emotions. 

You still have that necklace. It’s back on Coruscant, on the small side table next to your bed, to remind you of simpler times. To remind you of  _ him _ . 

"He'd do  _ anything  _ for you, that's obvious." 

"He'd do the same for Anakin and Ahsoka, even you Duchess. He cares deeply for everyone." 

"Trust me, I know he's a good man. I know him well.” 

You know he’s a good man too. A lesser man would never have combed through the beach of a distant planet to find a stone that his best friend took interest in for just a few seconds. And a lesser man would not have taken the time to assemble a small trinket with that said stone to give to his best friend, just to make her feel cared for by him.

“Well enough to know he's just  _ different _ with you." 

Before you can ask her what she means by the word  _ different _ , you spot Obi-Wan making his way through the crowd back to you. His pace is rushed and he’s checking over his shoulder too often -- something is wrong. Your body tenses and the Duchess notices. Obi-Wan makes it to you quickly and you give him a worried look. 

“Death Watch is searching the streets for us.”

“Ahsoka? Anakin?”

“They’re right behind me, but we have to get out of here.” 

As if on cue, Anakin and Ahsoka show up behind Obi-Wan. You let out a sigh of relief, before looking down to your leg.  _ This isn’t going to be fun _ . Anakin notices and places a hand on his former Master’s shoulder.

“Obi-Wan, take her. Ahsoka and I will protect the Duchess. We’ll meet you at the coordinates you gave me.”

Obi-Wan nods and once again, the five of you are splitting up for your own protection. Anakin glances at you one last time, his eyes shining with concern, before he follows after Ahsoka and the Duchess. Obi-Wan wraps an arm around your waist and places yours around his shoulders.

“This is going to hurt, but I’ve got you.”

“I know.”

And with that the two of you start to make your way through the busy street. He keeps the pace mild -- not too quick, or else you’ll draw the attention of unwanted eyes. With each step the pain in your calf gets excruciatingly worse. It’s a throbbing kind of burn that ripples through your body, but Obi-Wan keeps you steady. Without him pushing you forward, you’d surely have stopped by now.

And just when you start thinking that you might be in the clear, you spot someone: a sniper on one of the roofs. You get Obi-Wan’s attention and discreetly motion toward the gunner. His expression twists into one of frustration. He glances behind his shoulder and finds what he was afraid of. You follow his gaze and see a band of Death Watch soldiers in the crowd.  _ That’s not good _ . 

Obi-Wan turns down another street, attempting to lose them. He quickens the pace and your leg screams in pain causing you to muffle a whimper with the back of your hand and scowl. Obi-Wan gives you an apologetic look -- he wishes he could stop for you to take a moment's rest, but he can’t. You know he can’t. You are outnumbered. The odds already aren’t good. The fact that you’re already slower than them makes your odds worse.

“We’re not going to make it.”

“We’re going to be  _ fine _ .”

“I’m just slowing us down.”

“We’re doing  _ fine _ . Just keep going.”

“Maybe you should go ahead.”

Obi-Wan gives you a frustrated look before he turns you both down a dark alley. He stops and places his hands on your shoulders, holding onto them tightly.

“I’m not leaving you for them. They’ll either take you and tortue you or just kill you instead. I can’t do that.  _ Don’t ask me to do that _ .”

“Do you have a plan then?”

“I’m thinking.”

His voice is aggressive and panicked. He’s angry, but not at you. He runs his hands roughly through his hair, pulling down the shawl, it now wrapping around his neck. His eyes scan the alley, looking for a way out. Looking for  _ anything _ . His eyes strain in the darkness and then he sees it. Quickly, Obi-Wan pulls you into a narrow passage between two buildings. Your back is pressed against the wall and Obi-Wan stands in front of you. He peers his head out into the dark alleyway, watching the street intently.

It’s painfully silent. The only noise being Obi-Wan’s steady breaths and your heart pounding in your chest, that is until you hear the soft, menacing sound of footsteps in the distance. The sound sends a shiver down your spine. Obi-Wan notices and places his left hand on the wall behind you, just above your shoulder, to keep you in place as he continues watching. You aren’t sure how long you stay like that, silently waiting for whatever is to happen next while trying to focus simply on Obi-Wan’s warm presence in front of you -- but it feels like an eternity.

"All clear here, let's head back toward the market."

The words are quiet, far away, but you both hear them. Obi-Wan lets out a heavy sigh of relief as he hangs his head. His right hand moves to rest against the wall, just above your other shoulder, mimicking his other hand’s position. He lifts his head and looks at you with worried eyes.

“Are you okay?”

You nod. You’re not quite sure how you feel, but you know you’re glad to be alive. And then there’s silence again, only this time your mind isn’t focused on the threat of Death Watch. No, now your mind is focused on how close Obi-Wan is to you -- standing just a breath away. You should pull away before this gets messy. But you don’t.  _ You can’t _ . 

Slowly, he moves his hands to pull your hood down from your atop of your head, allowing him to see your face. His eyes don’t leave yours. They’re no longer filled with concern, instead, they’re doting. Your breath gets caught in your chest as his hands move from your hood, to the sides of your face. He’s careful, oh so careful, as if any sudden movements from him will scare you off. You aren’t sure who leans in first, who initiates, but in moments, your eyes close and his lips meet yours.

The kiss starts off slow, almost lazy, but it quickly grows into something more desperate. His hands move from your cheeks, to your waist as yours trail up his chest. He pulls you closer and your arms drape around his shoulders, fingers playing with his tousled hair. His beard scratches against your skin. You shouldn’t be doing this, but you don’t stop. And neither does he.  _ You both want this too much to stop now _ . 

The kiss continues -- years of tension and unspoken emotions coming out of both of you through your passionate, loving actions. You shouldn’t like it this much, but you do. And so does he.

Eventually, you have to pull away. And when you do, you’re instantly met with regret. Obi-Wan rests his forehead against yours. His warm breath hitting your face in rapid, sporadic puffs. His hands are still firmly holding onto your waist and yours are planted on his chest. You both take a moment, coming to terms with what you just did. Neither of you can take that back now. 

“ _ Dearest _ …”

The way he says your name drives you crazy. Part of you, so desperately, wants to just kiss him again and forget about your vows. But you know how that will end for both of you -- left with guilty consciences. 

“We shouldn’t have done that.”

“I know.”

Another moment passes. Neither of you make any attempt to move away from one another. You’re content in Obi-Wan’s embrace, but there are things that need to be done. Things that need to be worried about.

“We need to go find Anakin and Ahsoka.”

“Yeah…”

His voice trails off and finally, he moves his forehead from yours and his hands from your sides -- pulling away slowly. Your body is already missing his touch, but you have other problems to worry about.

“I don’t regret it.”

His soft words hit you like a punch to the face. You wish you felt the same. You wish you were as certain as he was that this could work between you. That this would be  _ good _ . But you’ve become comfortable with the careful relationship you’ve built with Obi-Wan over the years -- you fear what change could do to it. 

“But I know you do.”

Your eyes meet his. You’re expecting a pained expression, but you're met with understanding and compassion. He’s a good man. A lesser man would be angry. He gives you a small, sad smile before motioning you out of the narrow passage.

The walk to the coordinates where you’re meant to meet back up with Anakin and Ahsoka is rather short -- but the silence between you and Obi-Wan makes it feel painfully long. Neither of you are really sure what to do now. Best to just find Anakin and Ahsoka and take it from there.

As you reach the destination, you begin to worry as neither of them are in sight. But from the shadows, you see Anakin emerge. You immediately move to meet him halfway -- throwing your arms around his shoulders, pulling him in for a tight hug. Anakin wraps his arms around your middle and rests his head against yours. He lets out a shaky sigh -- as if he can finally breathe again. You’re just glad he’s okay. You’re not quite sure what you’d do if you lost Anakin. You pull away and look over his shoulder, expecting to find Ahsoka following behind him like always -- but she’s not there.

“Ahsoka?”

“C’mon, Snips.”

Ahsoka emerges from the shadows just as Anakin had and you envelop her in a warm hug, just as you had with him. Obi-Wan’s heart warms at the sight of you being reunited with the ones who you both have felt like are a little bit yours, but then he looks to Anakin and his expression is one of defeat. 

“Where’s the Duchess?”

Ahsoka looks to Anakin and his head drops.  _ You have a bad feeling about this _ .

“They got her.”

Your gaze shifts to Obi-Wan and the look on his face says it all: your mission was to protect the Duchess and you’ve failed. 


	6. City lights have always seemed to fascinate you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan Kenobi gets word that Duchess Satine Kryze’s life is in danger, but the council is certain that the Senate will not allow him to give his assistance if asked. Accompanying your fellow Jedi Master on his rogue mission with the help of his former Padawan Anakin Skywalker and his Padawan Ahsoka Tano, the four of you have gone back into hiding after the Duchess’ capture. During this time, you and Obi-Wan attempt to navigate through the mess you’ve created together.

_ City lights have always seemed to fascinate you.  _

Since your youth, you could often be found nestled on the window sill in your quarters at the Jedi Temple either late into the night or in the early hours of the morning admiring the light show provided by Coruscant’s towering skyscrapers. You would sit for hours and watch as speeders race by just outside your window. Sometimes you’d be found there by yourself, wrapped up tight in a quilt, but other nights Obi-Wan would accompany you. He’d sit across from you on the opposite side of the window sill, legs tangled up in yours as you both tried to occupy the small space. Obi-Wan would spend all night with his head tilted to the sky, studying Coruscant’s moons and the stars that littered the dark expanse. Those nights with Obi-Wan were often after troublesome days, when you needed to clear your head and feel at ease again. Little was spoken about between you both, opting instead to enjoy the comfortable silence of your quarters and the entertainment provided just outside your window. 

Now, you found yourself in the common area of your hideout, sitting on the floor while looking out the window at the Mandalorian cityscape -- attempting to ease your troubled mind. It isn’t helping though, you’re not even looking at the city lights outside the dingy apartment. You’re too preoccupied with the thoughts rattling inside your head. Whatever this thing you have with Obi-Wan is -- this connection you share -- it's not affecting just the two of you anymore. Now it’s affecting your missions, your  _ orders _ . Master Yoda calls you both a dyad -- better together than apart, but to you it seems to be making you both liabilities. You can’t be away from him. If you are, your mind is constantly pulled back to Obi-Wan and everything surrounding him -- his thoughts, his emotions, his well-being. But then you’re with him and none of that pull subsides. Instead, it grows stronger in his presence. It clouds your judgment. It clouds his judgement. It causes you both to become dangerously reckless. It makes you unable to do your jobs or even stick to your vows. Today showcased that. The mission was to protect the Duchess and now she’s in the hands of Death Watch because Obi-Wan couldn’t  _ let you go _ . You both couldn’t push your emotions aside for the benefit of the mission and then...

Your hand lifts to press softly against your lips. Just a few hours ago Obi-Wan’s lips had been pressed against them in the privacy of a dark passage in a Mandalorian alleyway. That makes things _ complicated _ . Not because he had kissed you, this wasn’t the first time.

The first time had been back on Coruscant, when you were both just teenagers. You both decided to sneak out to a bar with a group of friends one night. You had all finally mastered the Jedi mind trick -- this meant that you could get free drinks, while also being underage. It was already late when you all arrived at the bar. You drank, danced, and conversed for a few hours. Eventually, Obi-Wan, who was satisfied with the number of drinks he had ordered and consumed throughout the evening, grew tired of the crowded bar and blaring music. Right now, he’d much rather be sitting on that window sill with you, simply watching time pass. Weaving his way through the crowd, he finally made his way to you. You smiled brightly at him -- you’re a happy drunk, something Obi-Wan finds hilarious.

“Let’s get out of here.”

You nodded at Obi-Wan and the two of you bid your friends a farewell before exiting the bar. You decided to walk back to the temple, not wanting the night to end just yet -- that meant you’d wake up with a painful headache that you’d have to suffer through in order to complete your training for the day. Instead, in that moment, you just wanted to enjoy the beauty of a cool Coruscant night and the warm presence of your best friend beside you.

You walked side-by-side with Obi-Wan, reminiscing about your night. He filled you in on everything the boys had talked about while you recited all the gossip you had learned from the girls. And after a while, your conversation dissipated into a comfortable silence. You continued to walk through the city, wishing every night could be like this.  _ Peaceful _ . 

A gust of wind hit you and Obi-Wan causing you to shiver and wrap your arms around yourself. However, the attempt to insulate your body heat did not work. Obi-Wan noticed and immediately stopped walking to shuck off his jacket before wrapping it around your shoulders. You gave him a soft smile and returned your gaze to the city ahead of you.

“Woah.”

“What?”

Obi-Wan’s eyes followed yours and he was met with a magnificent sight. The Jedi Temple was off in the distance, illuminated by the surrounding buildings making it look almost heavenly. Obi-Wan’s not quite sure if he’ll ever get used to the views of Coruscant.

“It’s gorgeous, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it is.”

You both continued to bask in the grandeur of the landscape. But, after a while, you felt Obi-Wan’s gaze move from the Jedi Temple to you. You ignored it at first, but the rosy color of embarrassment that flooded your cheeks due to his actions started to become uncomfortable. You turned to face him, preparing to scold him for staring at you. 

“What’re you…”

But you were cut off as Obi-Wan’s lips met your own. You were shocked. The kiss was soft and sweet. He was being extremely careful. His hand came up to cup your cheek gently. You closed your eyes, still left surprised by Obi-Wan’s actions, but melting slowly into his touch. The kiss wasn’t long -- it was just enough to make your heart flutter the slightest bit. It felt nice --  _ almost natural _ . But then you realized what was happening. Obi-Wan was kissing you in the streets of Coruscant. 

Your eyes shot open and you extended your arms, pushing Obi-Wan away as you took a giant step back from him. He looked just as confused as you were when you looked at him -- as if he couldn’t believe what he just did. You lifted your hand and placed it over your mouth.  _ Obi-Wan Kenobi just kissed you in the streets of Coruscant _ . 

“Why did you do that?”

“I don’t know.”

He’s being completely honest. Obi-Wan wasn’t sure what just came over him, but he was sure that what he just did was wrong -- Master Qui-Gon had already talked to him about the nature of the Jedi and romantic relationships.

_ But then why did it feel so good?  _

“Well, don’t do it again. Okay?”

Obi-Wan nodded his head furiously and shoved his hands in the pockets of his civvies. A moment passed and then you were both continuing your walk back to the temple, never to discuss this again for the rest of your days. Why would you? You could just blame the buzz you and Obi-Wan had from your night out on what had just happened. Not messy at all as long as he keeps his word and doesn’t do it again. 

But he did it again and this time it’s complicated because it left you wanting  _ more _ . But you shouldn’t.  _ You can’t.  _ You have vows to uphold. A duty to the Republic, to the Order. Your training never prepared you for the bond you have come to share with Obi-Wan Kenobi. No one could have prepared you for this, it’s a journey for only you and Obi-Wan to traverse through together. But you’ve both become lenient -- growing more comfortable with the blurred lines you have created in your relationship. You have to stop before you get hurt. _ Before he gets hurt _ . 

And then Obi-Wan’s gentle footsteps echo across the room, the sound practically ringing in your ears. The careful, calculated strides stop just behind you. Obi-Wan’s arm brushes against your shoulder as he leans down and sits down beside you, legs stretched out in front of him and arms extended behind him. You glance over at the man and notice that he’s ditched the layers of clothing he was wearing throughout the day. Now, sporting his loose trousers and long-sleeve compression shirt -- the same government regulation blacks that the clones wear under their armor. Obi-Wan has taken to wearing blacks under his Jedi robes during the war, swearing by the comfort.

“Can’t sleep?”

His words are soft and laced with concern. You meet his gaze and simply nod. Obi-Wan’s head lowers and he takes in a deep breath. You expect him to ask a follow up question, but he stays quiet. You shift your gaze from Obi-Wan back to the window, focusing your attention on the city. You aren’t quite sure how long you sit there like that -- silently beside your best friend while your mind races. There are so many things you should say to him right now, but one question keeps coming back to you over and over again.

“Do you ever wish we weren’t connected in the way we are?”

Obi-Wan’s brow furrows and he turns his head to look at you. If you knew better you’d think he was hurt by the question; however, you know the expression on his face is one of confusion. He shakes his head before answering.

“No, why do you ask?”

You shrug. His answer was immediate. He didn’t even have to think about it before he spoke. It makes your heart ache slightly, knowing that his trust in you is absolute and yet your faith in the relationship seems to be wavering.

“I don’t know. I just think it’d be easier, is all.”

Obi-Wan’s eyes lower to the ground and his jaw clenches. He’s become accustomed to the united front he’s created with you. Your answer takes him aback.

“Is this about what happened today?”

Now, he’s on the defensive. You pull your knees into your chest, wrapping your arms around your legs -- trying to provide yourself with some sense of security. You _ hate  _ fighting with Obi-Wan. You stay quiet, not quite knowing what to say back.  _ Of course it’s about what happened today _ .

“You think I should have left you out there? Let you escape on your own and go with Satine instead? You would be in Death Watch’s hands right now or worse -- _ dead _ .”

“That’s not what I’m saying.”

“Then what are you saying?”

“It’s not a question of should you have left me out there today. It’s the fact that that would never happen, no matter the situation or the consequences. This, this thing that we have, it isn't our fault -- it's completely out of our control -- we both know that, but sometimes it makes us irrational.”

Obi-Wan is silent, knowing you’re right. You both know it. You make a good team. Deadly in battle, knowing each other's next move before you do it, communicating without saying a word. This is why the council put you both together. At first, they tried to separate you because of the bond, afraid of what it could cause; however, once Master Qui-Gon saw how you both worked together and noticed the sheer strength of your bond, the council began to realize the potential that you and Obi-Wan had as a collective unit. They saw the strategic benefits of this bond, what they didn't see were the moments you both shared when you weren't in the heat of battle -- these moments can cloud one's judgment on the battlefield. 

“I already know the answer to this, but I think it’s important for you to ask yourself: if it came down to saving me or saving the Duchess what would you do -- knowing what your mission is?”

Obi-Wan stays silent as he drops his gaze down to the floor. His eyes close and his lips press together into a firm line. He’s not angry, not in the slightest. He understands, more than anyone else ever will. The Jedi Code is all he’s known for his entire life:  _ no attachments _ . But then there’s  _ you _ , and gods, he would break every rule he’s been taught, disregard every vow he’s ever spoken, and leave the Jedi Order itself to keep you safe. He’s been told his entire life that this line of thinking is wrong. He remembers Master Qui-Gon sitting him down when you and Obi-Wan were beginning to grow closer at the temple. He told the young boy that possessing feelings, even romantic ones, isn’t wrong or not allowed by the Jedi. They understand that it is natural. Instead, they are more focused on the actions one takes because of those feelings. The feelings he harbors for you were never the problem. He’s felt this way about you since he was just a boy and it never went away, never subsided. The problem has always been his attachment to you --  _ his devotion to you _ \-- which grows stronger year after year. But how could his devotion be so wrong when this has also been his entire life? He understands that attachments are frowned upon due to where they can lead the Jedi. Attachments can lead to jealousy and greed which can set one down the path to the dark side. But he’s only ever known you to make him a better Jedi and a better person. 

“You know I’d do the same for you, right?”

This causes Obi-Wan to return his attention back to you. His eyes meet yours and he takes a shaky breath in. He’s taken aback by the intensity of your gaze. It is rare to see you like this, so raw and uncut. He doubts that anyone else has ever seen you like this. You trust him, he knows that, but sometimes he forgets to what extent. You trust him enough to be vulnerable. Enough to share the innermost thoughts that keep rattling around in your head that, without him, would be left unsaid. Enough to be  _ real _ and Obi-Wan desperately needs that. There isn’t enough of that in the Order. All he sees are the idealized versions of people that they have constructed to keep themselves safe, but it also leaves them detached. He knows this well, he too has a shell of himself that he wears during briefings, council meetings, and in conversations with other Jedi Masters -- he knows how isolating and exhausting that can be. If it weren’t for Master Qui-Gon, and Anakin, and Ahsoka, and you he’s sure that he would have gone mad by now, but you four are real to him. He knows each of you. He can see who you truly are. 

“I would do anything to make sure you’re alright.  _ Anything _ .”

Emotions in regard to one another is a topic that has been seldom discussed between the two of you. They were always there, you can both feel them, but they were often left unspoken. You were both taught that you cannot have attachments to another person while being fully devoted to the Order, so you both had to draw clear and strict boundaries in every relationship in your lives. Obi-Wan knows quite a lot about boundaries. He feels as though they’re one of the only things that can keep him and the people he cares for safe -- at least this is what he’s been taught. Because of this, the man lives and breathes by his boundaries. But with you, it’s different. He no longer knows where the line is. It’s no longer black and white, he’s not sure that it ever was. Everything is grey. He feels like he’s been traversing through uncharted waters with you for his entire life. He’s tried distancing himself from you. He’s tried so damn hard, but  _ you’re literally a part of him _ . Distancing himself from you makes him feel like he’s shutting a part of himself out. But the closer he gets to you, the more selfish he feels because he knows the way he feels about you and he knows the way he looks at you. It’s not fair. He doesn’t know the space he takes up in your heart and it’s wrong for him to assume, but it’s just so damn hard to collect himself sometimes.

“ _ Ben, you mean everything to me _ .”

And there it is.  _ Hope _ . Obi-Wan’s heart is pounding as the words continue to repeat in his head. He can’t believe that after all this time, you can still make him feel like a twelve-year-old boy, standing before you with his heart in your hands. And after all this time, he begins to think that maybe tonight, right here and right now, is when you will both throw caution to the wind and just say what you both feel. He’s known for quite some time that he’s felt this way about you and he’s come close to telling you several times over the years you’ve spent together, side-by-side, but the unknown always stopped him. He can sense a lot of your emotions, but he cannot read your mind. But now, he knows. It’s out in the open and neither of you can ignore that or take it back. 

As you’re both standing there, Obi-Wan looks at you with hopeful eyes. Your heart wrenches in your chest as you realize that you both have very different ideas of where this conversation is going. You don’t want to disappoint him and the last thing you want to do is hurt him, but this needs to be said before anything else happens. It’s necessary for you to protect yourself and Obi-Wan.

“But you can be  _ everything _ . You just can’t”

  
And there it is.  _ Reality. _


	7. The tension has become unbearable.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan Kenobi gets word that Duchess Satine Kryze’s life is in danger, but the council is certain that the Senate will not allow him to give his assistance if asked. Accompanying your fellow Jedi Master on his rogue mission with the help of his former Padawan Anakin Skywalker and his Padawan Ahsoka Tano, you deal with the tension in the relationship you've created with Obi-Wan. Meanwhile, Anakin promises you something that Obi-Wan doesn't.

_ The tension has become unbearable _ .

It’s been several days since you and Obi-Wan have last actually spoken. He’d tell you information when needed for the benefit of the mission; however, outside of that it’s been silent. You know what he’s doing -- hell, you practically told him to do it. He’s distancing himself. For as long as you’ve known him, you’ve known that in order to protect himself and the ones he cares about when he feels that he’s getting too close,  _ too invested _ , he’ll take a step back from the relationship. He’s not a cold man, far from it. His distancing could easily be misread as an act of neglect or disregard, but you know him better than that. For Obi-Wan it actually means the exact opposite.  _ He cares so damn much that it’s hurting him _ . 

You have seen this firsthand after the death of Master Qui-Gon. His death had such a monumental impact on Obi-Wan’s life; it was the first death that meant something to him. It wasn’t just his Master that he lost that day: he lost his first mentor, his father-figure, and someone he trusted with his life. It was the first time he lost a friend and it hit him hard. He cared for his former Master more than he’ll ever admit because it just hurts too damn much to think about. In all honesty, he’s afraid to open up that old wound again. He’s afraid to actually feel something. 

You tried to be there for him through his mourning, through his suffering, but Obi-Wan is a stubborn man. Gods, it hurt him to his very core to push you away, but he knew he couldn’t go through this again. There’s only so much he can take. Every mission you go out on can be your last, Obi-Wan has been taught this his entire life; however, Qui-Gon’s death made him realize that at some point he may lose _ you _ and there’s a possibility that he won’t be able to do anything about it. Qui-Gon’s death changed him, but your death would  _ destroy _ him. So, he did the only thing that he thought was right. He backed away.

Those fears are always in the back of his head, that didn’t go away; however, he also had to come to terms with the fact that pushing you away not only affected him, but you as well. When he realized that he was hurting you, he didn’t know what to do. He thought he was doing the right thing, but his actions were actually bringing you pain. He wants to be impartial. It’s what he’s been taught to do: to love, respect, and protect everything equally. But he gets attached. He doesn’t mean to, but he does. There was Qui-Gon, and then there’s Anakin, and there’s always been you. To this day, he’s not quite sure how to balance his duties with his emotions. There’s so much conflict inside him at all times, you can feel it. You know that it’s because he’s a good man. And dammit, sometimes you just want to grab a hold of his broad shoulders and tell him that over and over again until he believes it. He’s a good man but his constant internal struggle of wanting to do the right thing all the time and while also trying to come to terms with his intense and ever present emotions make him feel like he’s not good enough. Not good enough for the Jedi council, not good enough to train Anakin, not good enough for you.

You know how he feels more or less. The Jedi Order and the Jedi Code have been your entire life. You were raised by them and you feel as though you owe them a tremendous debt. In reality, you know that the Jedi don’t expect perfection; however, with the amount of rules and training required, it can often feel like your ability to be a perfect Jedi is more important than anything else. Obi-Wan has struggled with this for his entire life. While you were breaking the rules and pushing every boundary possible as a youngling, he was following them all and was praised for it constantly. One simple, tiny mistake would ruin his entire day and make him question everything. After spending time with Master Qui-Gon on actual missions where mistakes are inevitable, some of that mentality he once had was challenged and replaced. But a part of it follows him to this day, including his never ending quest for perfection. It doesn’t help that the Jedi Council seems to put him on a pedestal, as if he’s on a different playing field than the rest of you. Most Jedi see this and are jealous, but it just makes you sad because you know him. Gods, you know him better than  _ anyone  _ and he may be a Jedi and a good one at that, but that doesn’t mean he’s not _ human. _

The door unlocking spurs you into high alert. You turn your head and see Anakin and Obi-Wan make their way inside. Thank the stars, it’s them. Shaking your head, you attempt to get back into the right mindset. You know allowing your mind to drift like that while they’re away is dangerous and stupid. You’re smarter than that, but right now, your conflict with Obi-Wan has your head clouded. It’s like you can’t think straight, not without knowing the two of you are okay. 

Your gaze shifts to Obi-Wan and you’re surprised when his eyes meet yours. In his attempt to distance himself the past several days, even eye contact has become limited. You begin to give him a small smile, but stop as soon as you take in his features. He’s distraught. Something’s wrong. Your brow furrows and you immediately stand up. You want to rush to him. You want to hold his face in your hands and ask him what’s wrong. But you don’t. You wait for him to make the first move. He motions toward the small hallway before heading in that direction and you follow. He stops in the middle of the hall. The doors close and it’s just the two of you; this is dangerous. You stop a few paces behind him, allowing him space. He doesn’t bother to turn around and it hurts more than you’d like it to. His shoulders are tense and his head lowers. 

“Hey, what happened?” 

“We know where the Duchess is.” 

“What?” 

He finally turns around and you can’t breath. This is the first time you’ve been able to take in his appearance in days and he’s a sight to behold. His hair which is usually perfectly swept back is unkempt and falling in front of his eyes. His beard is wild, far from the trimmed masterpiece that typically accompanies his jawline. He’s buried under several layers of clothing, making him look smaller than normal. He looks far from the man he usually is, but you can’t look away. He’s still just as captivating.

“We overheard some soldiers talking, it seems that there’s someone else in charge now -- someone outside of Death Watch -- but they’ve got her at the Sundari Palace.” 

“Are we making a house call?”

You’re attempting to joke, he knows that and he wishes he could laugh. The best he can do is twitch his lips up into a sad smile. It’s not much, but he’s trying.

“No, Anakin and I are.” 

“You need me.” 

He knew you’d push back on this decision. Hell, he’d be doing the same if the tables were turned, but he also knows that this is the right call.  _ He’s going to do right by you _ . He takes a step forward and you want him to just close the distance between the two of you right now, but he doesn’t. He still keeps his distance.

“What I  _ need _ is for you to stay here and rest. Your leg isn’t fully healed yet.”

His eyes are trained on yours. They’re pleading. You close yours and run both your hands through your hair, pulling gently at the ends. You’re both silent. You know he’s right and you hate it. He can sense the turmoil stirring inside of you. He knows how hard this is. You hate the idea of him going out there without you just as much as he hates the idea of you staying here without him. He also knows the tension between you both doesn’t help, but he doesn’t know what to do about it. He does have a mission though and it involves protecting you. That, he knows how to do. You, on the other hand, are not going to let him walk out that door with first knowing things between you both are okay. 

“Listen, about what I said...”

“We don’t need to talk about it. I heard you loud and clear.” 

He winces at his own words. He should really be gentler; his tone could easily be mistaken as angry. He’s not angry, he’s hurt and he’s projecting. And it’s not fair. It’s not fair to you at all. He knows you’re right. Everything about this is messy, establishing clear boundaries is the only way to keep you both safe. 

So, he turns away from you, not quite knowing what to say. He doesn’t know how to make this right. Every fiber of his being is screaming at him to talk, to hash this out, to yell, to fight, to do anything, but he’s frozen. It’s not often that he finds himself tongue-tied, but here he is, completely and utterly at a loss for words. Before he can take a step, you close the distance between you both and grab his arm gently, pulling him back toward you. His eyes meet yours and he takes a shaky breath in. He expects to meet anger, pain, maybe disappointment, but, instead, he’s met with nothing but attentiveness and concern. He feels like someone just sucker-punched him in the gut. 

“Promise me you’ll come back. Alive.” 

“You know I can’t promise you that, no matter how much I want to.” 

_ Everything in him wants to. _

Your hand slowly moves down his forearm and clasps around his. Under the layers of fabric that separates him from you, his skin is burning for your touch. 

“ _ Ben _ ...” 

Boundaries, Obi-Wan. Boundaries. He’s repeating this to himself over and over again, but his head and his heart are playing a dangerous game of tug of war within him and it’s clouding his judgment. And then there’s you, looking at him like that, as if you can see right through him into his very being and whispering his name --  _ that damn name _ . He has to muster up every last shred of his self-control in order to not push you up against the wall and kiss you like he did in that dark, back alley passage. 

“I’m going to try my hardest to get back here – _ get back to you _ – alive.” 

There’s silence once again. He doesn’t want this conversation to end, not like this. 

“Promise me you won’t do anything risky until I’m back.” 

“I’ll try my hardest.” 

Now, you turn to walk away, and he should let you go. This should have been enough to satisfy the aching in his heart, but it isn’t. He wants more. And throwing caution to the wind, he reaches for your hand and pulls you back to him. He practically collapses into your arms. You’re taken aback slightly at the urgency of his contact. The way he’s holding onto you. He  _ needs _ you. And gods, you need him too. Your arms wrap around him with just as much tenacity. You can feel how uneven his breaths are against your shoulder. He’s falling apart in your embrace, he knows it. You’re the only one who could get him to do this – to let go of his usual, collected composure. It’s terrifying.

“You mean everything to me too.” 

He pulls away from you slightly while keeping a firm grip on your sides. It’s to keep you in place, you 

know that. But you also know that there’s nothing that could pull you away from him right now. 

“I need you to know that.” 

His eyes search yours desperately. He’s begging for you to understand. You nod, now at a loss for words yourself due to the intensity of his emotions. You understand.  _ Of course, you understand. _

And then the sound of the door opening behind you and someone clearing their throat causes you and Obi-Wan to pull away from one another. You turn and see Anakin standing in the doorway. His posture slouches as he leans his shoulder against the door frame. He lifts a hand and sweeps back the hair that had fallen in front of his face, now showing his eyes that are usually bright and confident. But instead of the usual recklessness you usually find lingering in his gaze, you’re met with the eyes of a tired boy. He’s exhausted --  _ you all are _ . 

His eyes bounce between you and Obi-Wan who has moved to stand beside you, shoulder-to-shoulder. Anakin could sense the tension before he even opened the door, it has been radiating off both of you for days now. He thought it was simply due to the Duchess’ capture at first, but as the days dragged on and you both seemed to grow more strained he realized that something else was bothering you. Nevertheless, he knew better than to pry. He’s always appreciated the privacy you and Obi-Wan have given him in regard to his personal life -- the least he could do was extend that same courtesy to the individuals who had practically raised him. He trusts you both without question. It must be significant because whatever was troubling you was enough to make you both distracted -- something Anakin has never seen in all the years he’s spent by your side.

“Ready, Master?”

Obi-Wan nods once to his former padawan before turning back to you. His eyes weary and tired. This mission has taken a lot out of all of you. You know he must leave. He has an opportunity to save the Duchess and end the mission. He has an opportunity to get you all back to safety -- he’ll never turn his back on an opportunity like that. You know Obi-Wan Kenobi -- he feels responsible for each and every one of you. You remember back to what the Duchess had said about you both in the palace gardens, now feeling the heavy weight of her honesty.  _ You and Obi-Wan. Always so concerned about everyone else, you often can’t see what’s in front of you. _

If he doesn’t go -- if he doesn’t try -- it will weigh on his shoulders for the rest of his days. This may be the only thing that will give him  _ peace _ .

“ _ Go _ .”

He does as you say, moving quickly towards the door. He brushes past Anakin and spares you one last glance before disappearing down the hallway. 

Anakin doesn’t move at first -- still leaning against the doorframe, watching you. Concern is etched across his features -- his brow furrowed, jaw clenched, arms crossed tightly against his chest. He’s worried about you. Obi-Wan is much better at controlling his emotions, like a thunderstorm -- powerful and dangerous, but predictable and  _ steady _ . His emotions rarely, if ever, affect another’s life. While you’re much more like him, a wildfire -- expected and inevitable, but chaotic and  _ raging _ . He sighs, knowing there is nothing he can say to make you feel better. He knows better than most, _ even better than Obi-Wan _ , whose steady nature would want to help level your head. Anakin knows that you need to feel it. So, with a defeated sigh, he turns to follow after his former Master.

“ _ Anakin _ …”

He stops immediately, growing more concerned as your voice wavers. His head snaps to where you’re standing and his heart breaks at the sight. In all of his life, he’s never seen you so  _ small _ . You, much like Obi-Wan, have been his lifelong mentor. He’s always admired your intellect, your compassion, your honesty, your  _ strength _ . You’re one of the strongest individuals Anakin has ever met. He’s watched you traverse through war. Has witnessed you mourn lost comrades and friends. Has seen you push aside personal struggles in order to do your duty to the Republic. All while being a reliable friend to him, and Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka. So seeing you so  _ defeated _ , makes his heart ache because you must be hurting more than he could ever imagine.

He finally meets your gaze, after collecting himself. And the way that you’re looking at him…

_ Oh _ .

Anakin knows that look like the back of his hand. He’s seen Padme give this look to Rex every time they’re gearing up for another battle. This is the look of a woman who is sending someone she loves off to war, not knowing if they’ll come back alive. It’s a look of trust, expectation, and loyalty because she knows he’ll have Obi-Wan’s back out there, but it’s also a silent reminder that she  _ needs _ him to look out for the man. It’s a look of regret, for giving so much of her heart to man that he knows cares for her absolutely, but will always be unable to give  _ all of himself  _ to her.  _ That’s the price of loving a Jedi _ . 

“Get back safe, okay?”

Anakin nods, knowing the full extent of what you're asking. He wonders if this is how Rex feels every time he goes into battle with him -- not only feeling the responsibility that comes with the title of Captain and leading his men,  _ his brothers _ , into the line of fire, but also the weight of a silent promise to a woman that has put her trust in him to get the man she loves, a man that would lay down his life for the greater good without question or second-thought, back to her safe and sound.

“We’ll be back before you know it.  _ I promise _ .”

And with that, Anakin turns once again and follows after Obi-Wan. The door closes behind him and you're left alone and hollow because you just sent your boys off to war -- and you know firsthand, that nothing good comes out of war. 


	8. Well, this didn't go as planned.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan Kenobi gets word that Duchess Satine Kryze’s life is in danger, but the council is certain that the Senate will not allow him to give his assistance if asked. Accompanying your fellow Jedi Master on his rogue mission with the help of his former Padawan Anakin Skywalker and his Padawan Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan and Anakin attempt to free the Duchess from her imprisonment; however, things don’t go as planned. In the end, Obi-Wan meets an old foe face-to-face

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Major spoilers for The Clone Wars season 5 episode 16

_ Well, this didn’t go as planned _ .

Obi-Wan’s covert operation to rescue the Duchess from her imprisonment was going smoothly until the ship that Anakin was in charge of obtaining seemed to be in a less than ideal condition. Anakin was already in one of the pilots’ seats when Obi-Wan and the Duchess arrived with Death Watch hot on their heels. Obi-Wan sat beside Anakin while the Duchess took a seat behind him. He looked at the state of the ship and let out a frustrated groan.

“Anakin, what is this heap of junk!”

Anakin stopped what he was doing to fully face his former master. Unlike Obi-Wan, who was now sporting red and black Mandalorian armor, Anakin was still in his civvies. A look of annoyance was plastered on the young man’s face.

“It’s all I could get off the book since we’re still, ya know, fugitives!”

Anakin let out an aggravated huff before returning his attention to the ship.

“We have to contact my sister for help. She’ll send reinforcements.”

The Duchess’ words caused Obi-Wan to pause as Anakin continued to work on the ship.

“Who’s your sister?”

Before the Duchess could answer Obi-Wan’s question, Anakin finally got the ship to take off. They weren’t in the clear yet though as Death Watch had locked missiles on them. The beeping from the center console continued to speed up as buttons flashed around the cockpit. Anakin and Obi-Wan share one last solemn look, knowing what was about to happen.  _ And it had been going so well _ .

“Brace yourself, Duchess.”

The ship rumbled as explosions went off. Anakin attempted to keep the ship stable while Obi-Wan checked the condition of the ship. Obi-Wan let out a heavy sigh and hit the center console.  _ Everything is shot _ . 

“Let’s get out of here.”

Anakin and the Duchess followed behind Obi-Wan who opened the cargo door to escape. Obi-Wan began to walk out onto the platform, but then the ship began spinning uncontrollably, causing him to grip onto the ship for support.

“Obi-Wan!”

He turned his head to see both Anakin and the Duchess lose their balance and fall. Obi-Wan reached out with his free hand and caught the Duchess arm, but Anakin was too far out of his reach. He continued to tumble until he had fallen off the platform entirely.

“Anakin!”

Obi-Wan tried to hold on as the ship continued spinning, but his grip eventually slipped and the two of them were sent plummeting to the ground below them. He landed on his side and attempted to roll over, but had to stop and cover his head as he heard the ship explode above him. Obi-Wan groaned, his ears were ringing due to the explosion. Turning his head, he saw Anakin, unconscious and stuck under debris. Obi-Wan lifted his arm and pulled the debris off of him using the force. Using his tired muscles, he attempted to get up, wanting to help Anakin. He needed to know he was okay. But his knees buckled under him and he fell once again. Obi-Wan pounded the ground with his right hand out of frustration. 

_ Come on Obi-Wan, get up. Anakin needs you _ .

But before he could try again, Obi-Wan heard footsteps in the distance. He turned his head to the other side and not only spotted a band of Death Watch soldiers, but also Darth Maul. He blinked once, believing his eyes were playing tricks on him.

“No, it can’t be.”

He mustered up the last of his energy and got to his feet. His legs were shaky beneath him, but he managed to maintain his stance. He grabbed his saber from his hip and ignited it as Maul drew nearer. Obi-Wan let out a pained sigh, preparing for a fight. Maul raised his hand and Obi-Wan’s body was raised off the ground. His saber fell as his hands came to claw at his neck as he gasped for air.

“We meet again Kenobi. Welcome to my world.”

Obi-Wan watched as both Anakin and the Duchess were taken by Savage and their Death Watch soldiers. His vision began to blur as he continued to suffocate at the hands of his oldest enemy. He felt his body drop and then his vision went black.

Now, Obi-Wan and Anakin are on their knees in the Sundari throne room. Just a few weeks ago, Obi-Wan was watching Anakin and Ahsoka laugh with the Duchess in this room. This time, it wasn’t the same -- he and Anakin are being held at gunpoint, the Duchess is bound next to Darth Maul, and you aren’t here beside him.  _ Gods, thank the stars you aren’t here beside him _ . 

“Your noble flaw is a weakness shared by you and your Duchess.”

Darth Maul moves to force choke the Duchess, just as he’d done to Obi-Wan hours prior, standing now. Obi-Wan struggles against his restraints as he watches the Duchess frantically try to take a breath. He can see the panic in her eyes as her lungs empty and cannot refill.

“You should have chosen the dark side, Master Jedi.”

Maul continues to sneer at Obi-Wan. He takes slow strides forward, bringing the Duchess along with him. This time Anakin struggles as he watches the pained look on his former Master’s face. 

“Your emotions betray you. Your fear, and yes, your anger. Let your anger deepen your hatred.”

Anakin watches Obi-Wan’s expression. He expects it to shift into one of rage as Maul speaks, but he manages to maintain his calm composure behind a scowl. Anakin wonders how he can do that right now - how he can hold back his emotions so well, especially when the life of someone he loves is at risk. He knows he couldn’t do it. If it were Padme up there with Maul, Anakin would be nothing but  _ rage and fury _ .

“Don’t listen to him, Obi…”

Satine manages to get a few words out before she’s silenced by Savage. Obi-Wan lets out a sigh before speaking, taking a moment to collect himself.

“You can kill me, but you will never destroy me. It takes strength to resist the dark side. Only the weak embrace it.”

“It is more powerful than you know.”

“And those who oppose it are more powerful than you’ll ever be.”

Obi-Wan is pulled back by the Death Watch soldier behind him as Maul glares at the man. Anakin watches the encounter anxiously not knowing how he can get Obi-Wan out of this alive -- he’s willing to die right now to protect the Duchess and uphold his morality. Obi-Wan is a man of honor. 

“I know where you’re from. I’ve been to your village. I know the decision to join the dark side wasn’t yours. The Nightsisters made it for you.”

Anakin’s brow furrows at Obi-Wan’s words. He’s on his knees, being held at gunpoint, and yet, he speaks with  _ kindness _ . Obi-Wan knows he is not going to make it out of this. He’s come to terms with his death -- his death is not something he fears. And he’s a man of honor, so in his death he wants to honor your compassion through his last words. He knows how difficult his death will be for you, so he hopes that this will make it a little bit easier and bring you some  _ peace _ .

“Silence! You think you know me? It was I who languished for years thinking of nothing but you. Nothing but this moment.”

Maul motions toward the Duchess who is whimpering. Obi-Wan’s face falls at the sight. She’s suffering -- because of him. 

“And now the perfect tool for my vengeance is in front of us. I never planned on killing you. But I will make you share my pain, Kenobi.”

Maul’s grip on the Duchess tightens and Obi-Wan moves forward, after a moment of shock due to Maul’s words. The Death Watch soldier behind him hits him in the head hard, sending him to the ground. He can only watch as Maul ignites his darksaber and stabs the Duchess in the abdomen. The Duchess gasps and falls to ground once Maul releases his grip. Obi-Wan breaks free from the soldier’s hold as Anakin lowers his head. Obi-Wan rushes to the Duchess, grabbing her shoulders gently and moving her body to lay comfortably in his arms. 

“Satine.”

His voice is soft and pained. Obi-Wan’s heart breaks as he watches her struggle to keep her eyes open. He’s come to terms with his death -- his death is not something he fears, but he fears the death of someone he cares for greatly. And the weight of her death will always be on his shoulders. His mission was to protect her and now, she’s dying in his arms. 

“I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” 

He grabs her hand as he uses his other arm to cradle her head. His eyes close as he tries to control his emotions. The Duchess places a hand on Obi-Wan’s cheek drawing his attention back to her. 

“My dear Obi-Wan, I’m okay. I’ve made my  _ peace _ . Now you need to make yours.” 

Obi-Wan’s brow furrows as he looks at her. The Duchess lets out a short, painful laugh at his expression. The sound brings a sad smile to Obi-Wan’s face.

“You foolish man.  _ Always so concerned about everyone else, you often can’t see what’s in front of you _ .”

She struggles with the last few words and begins to drift. Her body becomes limper in Obi-Wan’s arms.

“Satine…”

He cradles her body closer, but she continues to drift away until she takes one final breath. His head comes to rest against hers as his shoulders shake. Tears roll down Obi-Wan’s cheeks as he holds one of his closest friends, a woman who has known him since he was just a teenager, close. She trusted him and cared for him just as he did for her. And now she’s dead. Just like Master Qui-Gon.

_ The Jedi Code is all he’s known for his entire life: no attachments. _

_ But he gets attached. He doesn’t mean to, but he does.  _

Maybe this is what he deserves… 

“Do we kill him now, brother?”

“No. Imprison him below with Skywalker. Let him drown in his misery. Take them to their cell to rot.”

Anakin’s blood boils at Maul’s words. The things he would do to Maul right now if a gun weren’t pressed against his temple -- the things he would do to Maul right now for finding delight in his former Master’s agony. They’re unspeakable, but he’d do them for Obi-Wan. Unfortunately, he cannot avenge his former Master and is instead pulled to his feet by the soldier behind him and is ushered out of the throne room. Obi-Wan follows closely behind him. The two of them are escorted to a cell. 

Obi-Wan walks slowly to one of the beds and sits down. His head hangs and he lifts a hand to pull at his beard. If you were here you’d be pulling his hands away from his face. A look of concern would be etched across your features and you would ask what’s worrying him. You’d hold his hands in yours and stay with him until he felt lighter. But you’re not here with him. You’re somewhere far away. You’re somewhere  _ safe _ . 

Anakin watches his former Master and struggles with what to do next. He should be planning a way out of here, in order to escape Mandalore with you and Ahsoka. He should be trying to look for ways to escape, but he can’t. In all the years he’s known Obi-Wan, he’s always been there for him -- no matter what. Right now, what’s important for Anakin, is being there for his former Master. So, Anakin takes a seat on the opposite bed -- facing his former Master.

“Obi-Wan.”

This gets his attention. Obi-Wan lifts his head slightly. He pushes back the hair that has fallen in front of his face.

“I’m so sorry.” 

Obi-Wan lets out a soft sigh and sits up fully. 

“As am I, Anakin. I failed her.” 

Anakin nods. 

“I know what she meant to you. I can’t even imagine how you’re feeling.” 

Obi-Wan’s brow furrows at Anakin’s words. He cocks his head to the side and waits for Anakin to explain.

“You loved her, didn’t you?” 

Anakin’s explanation only deepens Obi-Wan’s confusion. 

“Why would you think that?” 

“You had told me once that you had fallen in love with a woman during your time in Mandalore. I have always assumed it was Satine.” 

“Anakin, I did not fall in love with Satine.” 

Obi-Wan remembers telling Anakin about falling in love during that mission. He had sat Anakin down one day to talk about his relationship with Padme. Anakin has always believed that he was keeping it a secret from him, but Obi-Wan has always known. He had warned Anakin about attachment just as Master Qui-Gon warned him, but once he realized that he had fallen in love with the Senator he let him be. How could he harbor such intense feelings for you and chastise Anakin for doing the same? He couldn’t. So, he let him be. He let him be  _ happy _ . He only had this conversation with Anakin because he was growing jealous and that was dangerous. Obi-Wan wanted Anakin to know that he understands his conflict -- he didn’t realize that he needed to specify who made him so conflicted, _ he thought it was obvious _ . Gods, the two of you practically raised the boy. 

“It was only the three of you. Who could you have...”

_ Oh _ .

It’s you. Of course, it’s you.

The way you looked at him before he left with Obi-Wan made him realize your feelings for the man and his heart ached for you as believed they were unrequited.

_ But they aren’t _ .

“Does she know?” 

“I’ve never told her.” 

“But that was so many years ago.” 

Obi-Wan nods.

“That means you’ve...” 

“I’ve been in love with her since I was  _ seventeen, _ Anakin. I will be in love with her until the day I die.”

Anakin falls silent as his head races. He’s spent most of his life with you and Obi-Wan, never realizing that the two of you are connected in more ways than the force. If they weren’t currently imprisoned, he’d actually be pretty happy to hear this news. But for now, Anakin knows what to do.

“Let’s get out of here, so you can tell her.”

In the throne room, Maul shakes his head and attempts to explain what he is feeling to his brother.

“Hmm, I sense a presence. A presence I haven’t felt since… Master!”

Savage’s brow furrows and he turns around to see the cloaked figure who he assumes to be Darth Sidious -- the one his brother has told him of -- at the entrance of the room.

“Master.”

Maul kneels in front of Darth Sidious.

“I am most impressed to see you have survived your injuries.”

“I used your training, Master. I have even broken Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

“You never were clever. If you want to break Master Obi-Wan Kenobi you have to take away the one he cares for most -- the one whom he is bonded through the force with. He’s a man with a glaring weakness and you can’t even do that right. You never were good enough to be my apprentice.”

Savage growls at the cloaked figure -- his anger rising as he feels the desire to defend his brother. 

“But Master, I have built all this in hopes of returning to your side.” 

“Hmm. How unfortunate that you are attempting to deceive me.”

Maul looks up at his former Master, his brow furrowed and eyes wide. 

“Master?”

“You have become a rival!”

Darth Sidious pushes them back. Maul and Savage slam into the windows at the far end of the throne room. The brothers fall and immediately grab their sabers, preparing for a fight. And a fight is what they got. The brothers fought valiantly, but Darth Sidious is far stronger and far more ruthless than them. In the end, Darth Sidious stabs his sabers through Savage’s middle, grinning at Maul as he does so. 

“ _ Brother… _ ” 

Darth Sidious removes his sabers and pushes Savage away. Maul makes the choice to run after his brother, instead of fighting Darth Sidious in his anger. He holds his brother as he passes on -- the only family he has, has just been taken away from him. His anger rises and his body shakes with fury. He turns to face Darth Sidious, but he is already gone.  _ He left him to drown in his misery. _ But he will not wallow. No. He may not be able to avenge his brother right now, but he can finish his plan.

_ He will break Obi-Wan Kenobi. And this time, he will not fail.  _


	9. Anxiety fills the small cell.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan Kenobi gets word that Duchess Satine Kryze’s life is in danger, but the council is certain that the Senate will not allow him to give his assistance if asked. Accompanying your fellow Jedi Master on his rogue mission with the help of his former Padawan Anakin Skywalker and his Padawan Ahsoka Tano, Anakin grapples with the consequences of imprisonment as his former Master is taken back to the throne room. Obi-Wan is certain that he’s about to be executed, but Maul has other plans.

_ Anxiety fills the small cell _ .

Anakin is sat on the bed as his mind races to worst case scenarios. He’s been spiraling since two Death Watch soldiers came to take Obi-Wan back to the throne room, leaving him here.  _ Alone _ . He attempted to find a way out, but he knew it was useless -- he and Obi-Wan combed the small cell multiple times during their time as it’s occupants, there is no way out but through the guarded cell door. Now, he’s left to wonder what they’re doing to Obi-Wan and if he’s even coming back at all. Obi-Wan seemed fairly certain that this was it for him. But he has to come back.  _ He made you a promise. _

He’s not quite sure how he’ll tell you the news. He’s honestly not sure that he could take that -- the heartbreak in your eyes when you realize Obi-Wan is never coming back, the cries of sorrow and loss, and the heavy burden of guilt that would weigh on his shoulders knowing he was the only person you trusted to protect Obi-Wan and he failed to do just that. However, regardless of his feelings, he knows you deserve to know the truth. That is, if he ever gets out of here and the odds of that seem slim as well. He knows that’ll just make things worse. It’s obvious how important he and Obi-Wan are to you -- how deeply connected the three of you are. You’ve built a life with the two of them over the years -- created this family unit that you’ve grown to love and cherish. 

Anakin worries what might happen to you if you were to lose them both. He worries that you may never recover from something like that. He knows Ahsoka will take care of you -- she would feel that it is her duty to protect you, comfort you, make you laugh. Just like him, Ahsoka feels as though she owes you everything for how you’ve always looked after her --  _ like how a mother would look after her daughter _ . If anything, Anakin can at least be at  _ peace _ with the fact that you won’t be alone, even though your boys may never come back from war. He hopes that’s enough. 

He’s not certain how long he sits there, but it’s long enough for him to drift. That is, until he hears the sound of a body hitting the floor from just outside his cell. Anakin immediately stands and braces himself. They better not have brought Obi-Wan’s body back to him. What a cruel and twisted joke that would be. To just let him drown in his own misery at the sight of his former master, lifeless. But instead, Anakin is met with a pair of friendly eyes. He lets out a sigh of relief and relaxes at the sight of her.

“ _ Ahsoka _ , I’ve never been happier to see you.”

“It’s good to see you too, Master.”

Anakin looks behind Ahsoka and notices a band of Death Watch soldiers waiting for them. One, who Anakin assumes is the leader, stands before all the rest with her helmet off.

“I see you’ve found some friends?”

“I’ve been busy.”

Anakin lets out a surprised laugh and takes a moment to let his eyes scan the soldiers. He’s looking for you. Ahsoka notices and gets his attention.

“They’ve got her.”

Anakin tenses. Ahsoka reaches out her hand and Anakin’s eyes light up as he notices what’s in her palm.  _ His lightsaber _ . He grabs the saber and holds it in both of his hands, admiring it before attaching it to his hip. He looks up at Ahsoka and his eyes flash with a youthful recklessness -- something Ahsoka hasn’t seen for awhile. It brings a smile to her face.

“Well, let’s go save the day.”

In the throne room, Obi-Wan is back on his knees. Maul sits before him on the throne, his posture relaxed while Death Watch soldiers keep Obi-Wan’s body upright. He’s exhausted. He hasn’t had a good night’s rest since you all landed on Mandalore and he hasn’t slept at all since his imprisonment. 

“Kenobi, I brought you here to break you. I knew the Duchess would call for your help and even though the Jedi Council would not allow for intervention, you would come. I knew killing the person you care for most would tear you apart from the inside -- make you suffer, just as you made me for all those years.” 

Obi-Wan is certain that this is it. Maul has already killed Satine. He’s kept him locked in a cell for days, wearing him down until his mind and body were weak. Maul has brought him here to execute him.

“But it seems I’ve killed the wrong person. Isn’t that right, Kenobi?” 

Obi-Wan’s brow furrows and he lifts his head to meet Maul’s gaze. His eyes are mischievous and his grin is sickly sweet.  _ He has a bad feeling about this _ . 

“The Duchess is not who you care for most, but instead a  _ fellow Jedi Master _ .” 

Obi-Wan’s blood boils at the sight of a Death Watch soldier dragging you across the throne room to Maul. Maul stands and grabs you by the neck, tightening his grip until you writhe in his grasp. You claw at Maul’s hand, but that only brings the Zabrack to laughter.

“ _ Let her go _ .”

Obi-Wan is seething. He’s nothing but  _ rage and fury _ . He attempts to move toward you but the Death Watch soldiers hold him back. He looks like a caged predator, looking for his opportunity to strike. He looks far from the man who’d come to Mandalore just a few weeks ago. The usual well kept, suave Obi-Wan Kenobi looks almost feral right now. His breathing is heavy and rapid. The things he would do to Maul right now if he weren’t being held back by two men -- the things he would do to Maul right now for laughing at your torment. They’re unspeakable, but he’d do them for you without question. His righteous fury knows no end when it comes to you. He’ll kill every person in this room to keep you safe without a second thought. 

“ _ It’s okay _ .”

Your attempt to console the man only seems to amuse Maul more. He lets out an airy laugh and Obi-Wan’s fiery eyes are on him. The look in his eyes -- _ it could kill _ . You want to comfort him. You want him to just look at you, but Obi-Wan’s attention is directed solely at the animal standing beside you. That is, until Maul’s grip around your neck tightens and you let out a strained whimper. Your legs kick and your body thrashes. You cannot breathe. Maul enjoys the way you squirm under his touch and takes delight in how  _ helpless _ Obi-Wan looks in this moment.

Just when you think you’re done for -- when your lungs begin to burn from within your chest -- Maul throws you to the ground in front of Obi-Wan. You gasp for air and your hands come to wrap around your neck. Obi-Wan’s eyes darken as he notices how the skin that Maul had just touched is already beginning to bruise. 

“ _ If you touch her again, I will… _ ”

Obi-Wan is hit hard in the back of the head by one of the soldier’s guns, sending him to the floor. You reach for him, but Maul restrains you. Obi-Wan begins to panic as he watches Maul pull you away from him. He doesn’t know how to get you both out of this alive. He doesn’t know how to keep you safe.

Maul stalks toward Obi-Wan, dragging you with him. He then pulls you in front of him and forces you onto your knees. You’re just inches away from Obi-Wan. 

“I’m going to kill the one you love most and then I will watch as the great Obi-Wan Kenobi breaks.”

You know what’s about to happen next. There’s no way out. Maul is going to kill you. You just wish Obi-Wan wasn’t here to witness it. This has turned him into something he’s not. He’s not hard, or cold, or angry. No, that’s what Maul wants him to be. Your Obi-Wan is gentle, and warm, and kind. He’s a good man. A lesser man would have succumbed to the dark side by now. But not Obi-Wan, he’s nothing but light.

The sound of Maul’s saber igniting makes you flinch, but you have to get his attention. You have to say this to him. This may be the last chance you get.

“ _ Ben… _ ”

Obi-Wan’s gaze stays focused on Maul. His eyes follow his every move. 

“ _ Ben, look at me. _ ” 

You’re begging him and he finally gives in. His eyes meet yours and his face immediately softens. He looks worse for wear. His hair is shaggy and untamed. A few auburn locks had fallen in front of his face during his altercation with the Death Watch soldiers. His beard has grown out of control -- it’s beginning to curl wildly. You can tell he’s tired by the bags under his eyes. And his eyes, they’re all emotion. He’s scared, you can feel it – just as you had felt it when you were both seventeen years old and light years away from one another. You’re trying your best to hold back tears, but a few escape and begin to trail down your cheeks. The sight breaks Obi-Wan’s heart. 

“You’re going to be okay.” 

He shakes his head and closes his eyes as his head drops. He’s hiding his face from you, but you can tell he’s crying by the way his shoulders begin to shake. Your heart aches for him. You wish you could reach out to him right now and wipe away his tears. You wish you could wrap your arms tightly around his waist and hold him until he feels steadier. But you can’t. 

“Ben, _ I promise you, _ you’re going to be okay. But I need you to know one thing.” 

Obi-Wan’s eyes meet yours and you’re left breathless. His eyes are worried, and doting, and kind. He knows what’s about to happen, he’s not foolish. And he knows you’re scared as well -- _ he can feel it _ . It’s radiating off of you. Of course it is. Maul is intent on ruining Obi-Wan’s life and the only way to do that is to take away the thing he holds dearest in this life.  _ That’s you _ . 

“ _ Ben, I have been in love with you for my entire life _ .”

His breath gets caught in his chest as the words leave your lips. He’s waited his entire life to hear those words. His eyes light up and he wants to say it back, you know he does. But he doesn’t have to. You know. And he knows. And that’s enough to give you _ peace _ . 

Out of the corner of your eye you watch as Maul raises his saber. The sight is menacing. You use your last few seconds to take one last look at Obi-Wan Kenobi. The man you’ve known since you were just a youngling. The man you were meant to meet and travel the galaxy with side-by-side together. The man you built a life with -- a family with. The man you love. And then you close your eyes, preparing for what is to come. You can hear Obi-Wan struggle against the restraints that bound his hands and the Death Watch soldiers holding him back. He’s putting up one hell of a fight. And you can hear him yelling -- the sound is devastating. He’s begging for Maul to stop. Pleading for him to take his life instead. He’s trying desperately to save your life. 

But you know it will not work. Maul has his heart set on revenge and you know how powerful a vengeful man can be. You wait for Maul to swing his saber down. But instead of the burning feeling against your skin, you’re met with the sound of Maul’s saber clashing with another. You look up and find Anakin standing defensively in front of you. Anakin pushes back against Maul  _ hard _ , sending him tumbling backwards -- desperately trying to regain his balance.

“You heard the man.”

Anakin’s voice is confident and terrifying.

“If you touch her again, _ I will kill you _ .”

You hear Ahsoka call your name and glance over at the young girl. She’s fighting off Death Watch soldiers, but manages to toss you two sabers: yours and Obi-Wan’s. You catch both sabers and immediately ignite yours, moving to break Obi-Wan out of his wrist restraints. Obi-Wan stands and faces you as you hand his saber to him. The look on his face is wild, but his eyes are soft. You know what he’s thinking:  _ you're with him and you’re okay _ . 

“I’ve got your back.”

“As I have yours.”

A small smile plays on your lips as you look at the man.  _ You're with him and he’s okay _ . And then you turn, your back pressed against Obi-Wan’s as you both plan your next moves -- studying the Death Watch soldiers moving closer to you both intently. If a fight is what they’re looking for, then a fight is what they’ll get.

Obi-Wan moves first, his saber slashing into Mandalorian armor. The two of you work together to cut down the Death Watch soldiers intent on killing you both. No words need to be said, you know Obi-Wan's next move -- as he knows yours. You don’t know if it’s due to the force bond you both share, the many years spent fighting side-by-side together, or a little bit of both: but the two of you fight as one. Anakin is always taken aback slightly when watching the two of you in battle with one another. It’s beautiful and terrifying. And he’s certainly relieved that the two of you are on his team. Anakin is a cocky Jedi -- he knows he’s good -- but the two of you together may be more than even he can handle. 

The fight drags on. The four of you begin to tire. There’s only a few Death Watch soldiers left and from the corner of your eye, you see Maul escaping through the back of the throne room. You move quickly to catch up to him.  _ He doesn’t deserve to live free after what he’s done to all of you _ . But Obi-Wan catches you, using a hand to grab your side. You turn to look at him and he shakes his head. 

“Our paths will certainly cross again and then he will meet his end; however, for now, let’s get out of here.”

You nod and watch as Anakin and Ahsoka walk toward you both together -- the pair arguing about who won the battle,  _ always competing _ . Obi-Wan watches them both, rolling his eyes at their behavior, before speaking.

“We need to find a way off this planet.”

Ahsoka steps forward -- her bright eyes bouncing between you and Obi-Wan.

“I think I know where our ship is.”

Obi-Wan lets out a relieved sigh at her words.

“Finally, some good news.”

The four of you move and fight your way back to the ship -- following after Ahsoka. Once aboard, Anakin and Ahsoka take the pilots’ seats while you and Obi-Wan collapse into the seats behind them. Anakin manages to get the ship off the ground and into the air. You close your eyes and lean back into your seat. The four of you are okay and out of Mandalore. You glance at Obi-Wan -- he’s already looking at you. The look in his eyes asks a silent question: are you okay? You give him a nod and your answer makes his body relax ever so slightly.

Anakin looks over his shoulder at you both. A small smile tugs at his lips as he watches the exchange. He clears his throat, gaining the attention of both you and Obi-Wan. 

“Ahsoka and I got this. You two go get some rest. You both need it.”

You and Obi-Wan both nod at Anakin before getting out of your seats and heading to the back of the ship. You exit first, Obi-Wan following close behind you. Taking a deep breath in, you turn around to face Obi-Wan. His expression is unreadable, his eyes a flurry of emotions. This is the first time either of you are actually able to process everything that has happened during your time on Mandalore. Obi-Wan lifts a hand and tugs at his rugged beard. 

“You almost died.”

“I know.”

“I almost lost you.”

“I know.”

“If Anakin wasn’t there…”

“ _ Ben, I know. _ ”

Obi-Wan stops, his face softening. You’re rattled -- of course you are. It wasn’t too long ago when Maul’s hand was wrapped so tightly around your throat that you were gasping for a single breath. Obi-Wan’s eyes drop to your neck, where there are already purple bruises littering your skin. He tilts his head to the side and takes slow, careful steps toward you. His hands move to your neck, unlike Maul, Obi-Wan’s touch is doting. He’s afraid to hurt you. His eyes are pained and he swallows back emotions that desperately want to resurface. 

“ _ Dearest… _ ”

He closes his eyes, his head dropping ever so slightly. You wrap your hands around his wrists, drawing his attention back to you. His eyes meet yours.

“I’m okay.”

Obi-Wan nods and rests his forehead against yours. He lets out a sigh of relief -- taking in the feeling of your familiar touch. His hands move from your neck, to your cheeks -- gently cradling your face. This time the intimacy Obi-Wan is sharing with you is not scary -- no, this is something you need. You just need him.

“I love you.”

His voice is soft -- it’s practically a whisper. He pulls away slightly, his eyes boring into yours. His hands don’t move.

“I’ve always loved you.”

And finally, after what has felt like weeks, a smile graces Obi-Wan’s lips. He’s finally content. He’s finally at  _ peace _ . A few tears trail down your cheeks and Obi-Wan uses his thumbs to wipe them away.

And then he kisses you. This time it’s different. You’re not in the dark streets of Coruscant, buzzed off a few drinks, or hiding in a Mandalorian alleyway, thinking that these might be your last moments. No, you’re both safe and sober. The kiss is familiar and easy. It’s like you're finally able to breathe again, being this close to him. Like this is what it’s supposed to be like between you both. 

When you pull away, you’re left wanting more. But this time, you’re not terrified by that notion. No, your commitment to Obi-Wan doesn’t make you anxious. You’re committed to him, just as he’s committed to you. It’s taken you both over thirty years to realize it, but you have. 

You wrap your arms around his shoulders and breathe him in. Being a Jedi has sent you all over the galaxy, you’re rarely in one place for too long -- but right here, with Obi-Wan, feels like home. He’s safe. He’s here. And he’s got you. 

You should be reevaluating the oaths both you and Obi-Wan took to become Jedi. Reassessing the various conversations you had with your past Master about attachments and relationships. Thinking about how you both will keep this from the Jedi Council. Worrying about what will happen if anyone besides Anakin or Ahsoka were to find out. But you’re not.

_ Because this is right _ . 

  
The past few days were hell for the two of you; however, as you both hold on to one another, in the way you’ve wanted to hold each other for years, everything else melts away. _ It’s a moment of peace and you’re spending it with him. _


End file.
